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Category: Long

A cowboy rode into town and decided to stop by the local saloon for a drink.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

As it often went in these parts, the locals had a habit of giving strangers a hard time. When he finished his drink, he stepped outside to find his horse had vanished….

The Butcher Dance

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy has spent five years traveling all around the world making a documentary on native dances. At the end of this time, he has every single dance of every single indigenous…

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

And noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable…

“55 northern 9th” the guy was told, “best blowjob ever.” So he goes there.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

"How much is it please?" he asks the girl. "That's 500 for the handjob and 1500 for the blowjob." The man frowns a bit and says "You know i was told you…

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

Upon entering heaven, he sees two lines leading to the pearly gates: the free will line, and the predestination line. Naturally he goes to the predestination line. While waiting in queue, an…

The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A billionaire is sailing his yacht past a lighthouse, and he sees the elderly lighthouse keeper out on the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, getting a blowjob from a mermaid…

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. "Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks. "Well", she replies, "My boss and I played the lottery and we…

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time!

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but…

A woman with a passion for gardening was growing increasingly frustrated.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman with a passion for gardening was growing increasingly frustrated. No matter what she did, her tomatoes just wouldn’t turn red. One afternoon, while walking past her neighbor’s garden, she couldn’t…

A blonde woman was driving along the highway!

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A blonde woman was driving along the highway, about two hours outside San Diego, when she saw a man waving her down. His truck was parked on the shoulder, clearly broken down….

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!

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