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Category: Long

The cost of doing business.

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

One warm day, a stockbroker was on his way to a meeting when he saw a young girl selling lemonade by the side of the road. He pulled over and got out…

Tonto

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight…

Just Fred!

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

A FLORIDA Highway Patrol officer stops a man on a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the…

A blonde moment.

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day a blonde came home from school, excited, and said to her mother, “Hey, Mom! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but…

Aliens

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

A UFO lands in the desert next to a gas station that was closed for the night. Two aliens beam down from the ship and walk up to a gas pump. One…

Aliens are invading Earth and humanity’s fate resides in telling them ONE original joke

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Alien Commander: “Humans! After centuries of observation, we’ve concluded that humor is the highest form of intelligence. Judging by your endless reposts on r/Jokes… your species has failed. Total eradication begins unless…

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday. “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his back…

Canadians in Australia

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

A couple of gals from Canada decide to travel to Australia over the winter to get a break from 40 below, ice and snow. They're sitting at a club in Perth, enjoying…

A man foolishly asked his wife why she kept staring out of the window.

Posted on June 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

Taking a very deep breath she replied, "I'm really fed up with the state of Mrs Brown's blinds. Mrs Perkins' aren't much better. And that Mrs Lewis – scruffy cow. Look at…

Dad’s comeback!

Posted on June 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he’s 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?

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