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Category: Long

Six retired Florida gentlemen were playing high stakes poker in a condo clubhouse.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

During an especially high-stakes game, a member of the group, Ron, lost $5,000 on a single hand, clutched his chest and dropped dead at the table from a heart attack. Showing respect…

Suzie Smith went to church

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months…

About neighbors and a rabbit

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

A nice family of mother, father, two kids and a pet rabbit live in a bourgeois suburb. Next to them lives a couple with a dog. It is a sweet dog, good…

Three men die and are standing before the gates of heaven

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The angel at the gates tells them that none of them were bad people, but not virtuous either. Therefor, all he could offer them was reincarnation. But they could not reincarnate as…

Pete’s headache

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The mayor of a local town calls his friend John who owns a factory. "Listen John, we all know that Pete in our town isn't the brightest lamp but it's a shame…

A husband and wife were married for 25 years.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

They were famous for fighting constantly, and generally disliking each other. On their 26th wedding anniversary the husband had a heart attack and died. A few days later his widowed wife walked…

Holmes and Watson decide to go on a camping trip.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

They hike for a few hours onto the moors. After finding a nice, secluded spot, they set up their tent, build a fire, and watch the sun set. After dining, their fire…

A pregnant woman is hit by a car….

Posted on June 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

She is sent into a coma for 1 year. She wakes up, no longer pregnant, screaming," Doctor! Doctor! Where is my baby?!" The doctor replies, "Calm down, your babies are fine. You…

Three women convince their goofy husbands to go to clown college for a year.

Posted on June 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

The men go off, graduate, and return, and now the women are gossiping about it over tea. The first woman sets her tea down, sighs, and says, "It's horrible. Ever since my…

Three Logicians Part Deux

Posted on June 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

Three logicians enter a bar. Yes, again. The bartender asks, "Would you all like something to drink?". The first logician replies, "No," and the bartender wanders off. "How rude," the first logician…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.

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