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Category: Long

Mid priced sex doll

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy goes into a sex shop looking to buy a sex doll. The salesman behind the counter goes through the various ranges, from quite cheap to ultra-high tech. The salesman shows…

Vladimir Putin calls one of his generals.

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

He says, "I hear that our soldiers are having trouble grasping their weapons. Their gloves are too slippery. We need to give them better gloves. Gloves really good for grasping." The general…

Two Latvian workers came to Ireland to paint a house in the countryside.

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

They liked to have a drink before work, but didn't have a penny, so amid the house owner's absence they sold the paint, bought booze and began to have fun. Later, when…

John was telling his friend about his skydiving class.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

John said he had gone through training and was in flight on a plane for the first jump. All his class mates had already jumped and besides the pilot, only he and…

The furniture salesman.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A furniture salesman is telling a mate about an amazing date he’d just been on, where neither he nor the date could speak a word of the other’s language. He told his…

Headstone problems

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

His wife having passed away a Yorkshireman went to the local monumental mason in order to acquire a suitable headstone in time for the funeral. The mason asked for suggestions regarding a…

A man is driving when he sees a hitchhiker on the side of the road

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man is driving in the early morning hours when he sees a hitchhiker at the side of the road, standing next to a suitcase, holding a bottle of rum. The driver…

A man and his wife excitedly visit Texas

Posted on June 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

They spend the day exploring the sights of San Antonio. After walking around the city, they sit down at a local diner and enjoy a delicious American meal of buffalo wings and…

Guy walks into a bar with his emotional support alligator

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says they only allow service animals, not emotional support animals wearing a $25 yellow vest you can buy on Etsy. On top of that, it’s dangerous to others. So the…

A new neighbor moves into the largest house on the street.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

John, The un-official "Head" of the neighborhood, goes over to great the new guy. "Hello there, friend, I'm John. What's your name?" He asks. "My name's Alex. Pleased to meet you, John."…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer

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