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Category: Long

A man entered the confessional and told his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.”

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The man said, "Well, we took our clothes off and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped!" The priest said, "Rubbing against each…

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The…

A guy goes to the golf course to play as a single

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

The starter tells him there is another single so if it's ok he's going to pair them up. The two are really enjoying each other's company when the first golfer asks what…

A guy starts work at a bakery

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure…

[Need help with] a tagline for a hypothetical company

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Suppose a company (a hypothetical company making for my gf as a joke for anniversary) that provides boyfriend services. It's website provides services like 1 hr snuggle time with 10 kisses free…

A white female rabbit is on her way to New York and sees a brown male rabbit

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Am I hopping in the right direction to New York City?" the white rabbit asks. The brown rabbit replies "it'll cost you." So the two hop into the bushes, do what rabbits…

Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella, walks into a coffee shop…

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

…and sees a young man feverishly working on his laptop. He walks over to the him and asks, "Whatchya workin' on, young man?" The young man looks up and says, "Welp, I'm…

In a certain town, they held an annual cow milking competition.

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

It was a practice going on for decades but then this one year they lacked proper organization. The event starts, the first guy goes in and milks the cow for 30 mins….

A man enters a craft chocolates shop and asks if they could make a chocolate model car for him.

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Sure, no problem.” “And can it look like the VW Beetle that my dad had?” “Nice idea, no problem at all.” “And can you make it so that the chocolate doors open…

Farmer Ted Has 3 Hens and 4 Cocks

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

The odds were stacked against Farmer Ted. Growing up in the grand old city of New York, Farmer Ted (well, at the time, just Ted) didn't know the damnest thing about farmin'….

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit

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