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Category: Long

A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor considered his question for a moment, and then began to tell a story: “I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day, he…

Bad luck Dave

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

There was a guy named Dave, whose life was just a long string of bad luck. Lost jobs, broken phones, every vending machine he touched ate his money. The guy even got…

Prayer

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The husband tells the wife that he is going to a 3-day church conference. Wife packs his bag, prepares breakfast for him and says, “Darling, let’s pray together before you leave.” Husband…

The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Tom is given a gun and taken to a door. “Inside this room,” the CIA agent says, “you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!” Tom replies, “You can’t…

The perch problem

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, "I wonder why he is so cheap?" "Because I am defective,"…

There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

An American legislator hosts a Russian legislator at his very nice, upscale home on a lake. The Russian is impressed and asks him how he affords this on a legislator's salary. The…

Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

guy goes to the doctor and says: “Doc, I’ve got a problem. I finish way too fast during sex. I can't enjoy it at all.” The doctor nods and says, “Okay… take…

Do the laundry

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Once upon a time, there was a couple. They already had kids, so whenever they wanted to have sex, they used a codeword, "Laundry," to hide it from the kids. During a…

A couple invited their family over for Thanksgiving night to spend the holiday and meal together.

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

The family gathered, but the couple's children were late and the mother-in-law complained aloud: "Ugh, your children, always late." Eventually, everyone sat down to eat, the mother-in-law insisted on sitting at the…

So a farmer asks a friend to come over to his place to help him fix his generator.

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

They work for a while, and two cows come walking through the pasture beside the barn. The friend looks over and says, "Wow. Those are some fine looking animals. Where do they…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…

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