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Category: Long

Single vulture dad problems

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A vulture was flying back to his nest after a long day out looking for food. When he arrived, the nest was filthy and his son was snacking and playing video games….

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip…

A wealthy, old-fashioned, Southern family lives near a new army base.

Posted on July 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day, hearing that the base has just recieved its first large squadron of soldiers, he calls up the base and offers to host a dozen of its best soldiers for a…

During the second World War, two allied soldiers were captured for interrogation by the Germans and sent to the prison camp Luft Stalag 13

Posted on July 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

The Nazi interrogator, a thin man with wide menacing eyes and a sadistic grin, looked upon the two men, an American and a Scotsman, both large and strong looking men. The interrogator…

A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price. "Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale….

A virgin young man meets a priest

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A young man has been a virgin due to his strict parents. One day, he went to meet a priest and asked him about why his parents are like this. Priest: Why,…

A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage. A friend asked, "How is that even possible?" The husband explained, "It all started during our honeymoon when we…

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him!

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf and dumb. That was the reason he got the job in the first…

A woman in a supermarket watched as a grandfather struggled to control his badly behaved grandson.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

The child screamed for sweets, biscuits, and other treats. Despite the child’s outbursts, the grandfather remained calm and composed, saying, “Easy, William, we won’t be long now… easy, boy.” After another outburst,…

A teenage boy was playing in his room on his computer when his grandfather came in and sat on the bed.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

“I know you love your computer,” said the grandfather, “but you really should get out of the house more and experience life. After all, you’re eighteen now. When I was eighteen, I…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.

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