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Category: Long

A grandmother takes her grandson to the beach

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

The boy was splashing in the shallows when a sudden riptide carried him out to sea. The grandmother frantically started screaming for help. "Someone help! My grandson! My grandson! He's drowning!" Without…

A boy turns to his grandfather and says “I bet you $20 I can put that earthworm back in the hole it just crawled from”

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

The grandfather laughs and says "the worm is much too wriggly and the hole is far too small, but sure, I'll take your bet". The boy runs inside the house and returns…

A woman was waiting to board a bus when she realized her skirt was too tight.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman was waiting to board a bus when she realized her skirt was too tight to lift her leg high enough to step onto the first step. Feeling a bit self-conscious,…

Beethoven died and they buried him near the church.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A while later, the town's drunkard is passing by the church, and he hears something eerie and melodic. It comes from Beethoven's grave. He leans closer, and the composer's 5th symphony is…

Dad shocked

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me…

[Long Joke] A dead body was found in the lake.

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

The police found a wallet with the body. They found that the wallet belonged to a certain Mr. Brown. But they were still not sure if the dead body was of Mr….

A Greek and an Irishman found themselves in a Starbucks!

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A Greek and an Irishman found themselves in a Starbucks one afternoon, casually chatting about the proud achievements of their respective cultures over steaming lattes. The Greek leaned back with a smile…

Free Sex with Fill-Up!

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Liam pulled in, filled his tank and asked…

[NSFW] A drunk and a priest

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a…

The Prime Minister is in his limo, passing through the country side.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

All of a sudden his driver slams on the brakes. BOOM! The driver hit a huge pig that was coming out of the woods. The limo is badly damaged and won't start….

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • An elderly couple is getting ready for bed
  • A woman was telling her neighbour about the supermarket that had opened recently on the outskirts of town.
  • the pope’s secretary rings him:
  • 3 boys find a $20 bill on the ground..
  • My missus is going to a fancy dress party tonight, she went out yesterday and hired a costume.
  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit

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