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Category: Long

A union man visits a Las Vegas Brothel.

Posted on August 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

The madame says "Can I help you sir?" and he says "Yeah, is this a union establishment?" The madame says "No sir." and he says "I only do business with union shops."…

Admiral questions Captain

Posted on August 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

An Admiral, inspecting a ship, starts questioning the Captain. "You have an enemy submarine somewhere near you. How would you deal with it?" The Captain replied, "Depth charges, Sir." "You've run out…

Serious illness

Posted on August 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy comes home from the doctor and says to his wife: – Darling! It’s bad news. The doctor said I have a serious illness and only half a day left. I…

How to stop a gossip

Posted on August 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.  Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough…

Deficiency…

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she…

Irish Pick-up Line

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

An Irishman is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes. A woman sitting nearby notices this and…

Doctor’s Clinic Had Clever Sign (long)

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

After moving to the U.S., a Chinese doctor struggled to find work in a hospital. So, he opened a small clinic with a clever sign out front: “Treatment for $20 — If…

New Year’s Eve 1961

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Karen is getting ready to go on a date, when Ralph stops by to pick her up, but she’s not ready yet, so he sits in the living room with Karen’s father…

Manchester city football club were scouting for new players…

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Manchester city football club were looking for new blood and decided to send scouts to the war torn country of Afghanistan to find their new star. After a couple of weeks they…

Irish intoxication

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

I loved it the first time and thought that a Repost was OK. This is from 14 years ago. (Has that been long enough for a repost?) From Ireland, where driving while…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…

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