A big-game hunter comes intae a wee inn in the Highlands, an’ he says tae the barman, “Laddie, I’ve hunted lions, tigers, an’ elephants. Whit beast hae ye got in Scotland for…
Category: Long
A Couple Had A Cat Named…Orangio…
…but he was a real annoyance. Whatever they want to do he is there, calling for attention, having them almost tripping over him and such. But it got too much when Orangio…
A man in an Ohio Walmart this morning tries to buy half a cauliflower.
The young assistant tells him they only sell whole cauliflowers. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he’ll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back…
A married couple was in a terrible accident, and the husband’s face was severely burned.
The doctor told him they couldn’t graft any skin from his own body because he was too skinny. His wife lovingly offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only…
This old spinster started to get an itch down there…
…so she goes to the town doctor. Doctor looks her over and tells her "Ma'am, you got crabs." "That's impossible," she says "I'm a virgin! I want a second opinion." So she…
Ornithology
I was down at the hide one morning when I heard someone at the door. A young lady poked her head in and said "Oh! Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in…
A terribly constipated man goes to a doctor
After the man describes his sorrowful condition, the doctor decides to prescribe him a laxative. He grabs a paper and a pencil and starts doing some calculations. He asks the man, "How…
Diesel fitter
TL/DR: joke #432b Boudreau and Thibodeau worked together, and both were laid off. They went to the unemployment office together. When the clerk asked his occupation, Boudreau answered, “Panty Stitcher, I sew…
Old man is sitting on his porch one day, just watching the world going by as he always does, when he notices a kid walking by (and seeming very purposeful), dragging something behind him. The old man calls out, “Hey kid! Whatcha got there?” (long but worth it)
The kid replies, "I gots me some chicken-wire." Old man asks, "Whatcha doin' with chicken-wire?" Kid replies, "I'm gonna catch me some chickens!" Old man cries out in disbelief, "Chicken-wire's for penning…
A greedy old business man was dying, so he called his priest, his lawyer, and his accountant to his bedside.
“They say you can’t take it with you, but I am certainly going to try” wheezed the business man. “When I die I want each of you to take one third of…