Motions his wife closer and whispers, “I want you to wait 6 months after I’m gone and then marry George”.
Wife responds, “Marry George? I thought you hated George”!
And, with his last breath, says, “I do”.
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of the given joke:
Joke Poo: The Estate Plan
A wealthy CEO, on his private yacht and clearly nearing his end, beckons his highly competent but notoriously ruthless CFO, Brenda, to his side. He rasps, “Brenda… after I’m gone… I want you to liquidate all my assets… donate 98% to the ‘Save the Earthworm’ foundation…”
Brenda, ever the pragmatist, raises an eyebrow, “The Earthworm foundation, sir? You’ve always championed tax shelters and aggressive acquisitions. Is this some kind of final act of philanthropy?”
The CEO coughs weakly, a mischievous glint in his eye. “No, Brenda… I just want to see those vultures at the board meeting squirm.”
Alright, let’s dissect this deathbed joke!
Key Elements:
- Deathbed Trope: The classic setup for a confession, revelation, or bizarre request. Creates immediate expectation of solemnity.
- Misdirection: The husband’s request seems benevolent (“wait 6 months”).
- Unexpected Twist: The reveal that the request is motivated by spite, not love or concern. The humor relies on the switch from a seemingly sentimental moment to a petty, vindictive one.
- Character Relationships: The husband and wife have a long-term relationship (marriage), and the husband has a defined negative relationship with “George.”
- Irony: The dying man uses his last breath, a symbol of ultimate importance, to orchestrate petty revenge.
- Breach of Expected Behavior: The wife’s reaction (surprise/confusion) highlights the unexpected and socially inappropriate nature of the husband’s request.
Comedic Enrichment: New Joke/Witty Observation/Amusing “Did You Know”
Let’s build on the “deathbed trope” and the unexpected nature of final words. Here are a few ideas:
Option 1: New Joke (plays on expectation):
A historian is on his deathbed, surrounded by family. With great effort, he rasps, “I…I have to tell you something. It…it wasn’t Romulus who killed Remus.”
The family leans in, breathless. He continues, “It was…wait for it…it was actually Amulius who ordered it! Get your facts straight, people!” And then he dies.
- Analysis: This follows the deathbed setup, but the “revelation” is a minor historical correction rather than a personal confession or request. The humor comes from the disproportionate importance he places on historical accuracy at the moment of death.
Option 2: Amusing “Did You Know” (highlights the absurdity of final words):
Did you know that statistically, people’s final words are remarkably mundane? A study showed that a significant percentage are simply calling for assistance (“Help!”), expressing physical discomfort (“It hurts!”), or…requesting a last glass of water. It’s almost disappointing. All that pressure to deliver profound last words, and you’re just thirsty. It’s the cosmic equivalent of forgetting to take the chicken out of the freezer.
- Analysis: This plays off the expectation that final words should be significant, contrasting it with the banality of reality. The “cosmic chicken freezer” analogy adds a layer of absurd humor.
Option 3: Witty Observation (expands on the theme of petty revenge):
Deathbed wishes are fascinating. It’s the ultimate power move: a way to control people from beyond the grave. It’s like passive-aggressive haunting, only you’re allowed to be passive and aggressive. And people have to listen, because what are they going to do, argue with a corpse?
- Analysis: This focuses on the psychological aspect of deathbed wishes, highlighting the potential for manipulation and control. It frames it as a “passive-aggressive haunting,” which is a darkly humorous concept.
I think Option 2 is the most successful follow-up because it doesn’t try to directly replicate the original joke, but instead takes the core idea of disappointing “last words” and makes it more universal and relatable.