Manchester city football club were looking for new blood and decided to send scouts to the war torn country of Afghanistan to find their new star. After a couple of weeks they discover a young superstar and sign him on the dot. Another few weeks later, he makes his first full team debut, comes on as substitute and scores a hat trick against Liverpool!
After the match, he was overjoyed and called his mum. On the phone he said "Mum, I've had the best day of my life! I got my debut with the full team, I came on as a substitute, scored a hat trick and got man of the match!" Mum replies "oh, son, We've had the worst day of our lives. Your dad got beaten up in the streets unprovoked. Our house got broken into and robbed and your sister got SA'ed and harassed…". The son replied "I'm so sorry mum…". Mum barks back "So you should be! It was your bloody idea to move to Manchester!"
Joke Poo: Hollywood Dreams
A struggling independent film studio was desperate for a box office hit and decided to send scouts to the remote island of Lamu, Kenya, known for its unique donkey-based transportation system, to find their next big star. After a couple of months, they discover a charismatic donkey with an uncanny ability to mimic human emotions and sign him immediately. A few weeks later, he makes his Hollywood debut in a remake of “Black Beauty,” receiving rave reviews and becoming an instant sensation.
After the premiere, the donkey was ecstatic and video-called his mum. On the screen he brayed “Mum, I’ve had the best day of my life! I starred in a Hollywood movie, got nominated for a Golden Globe, and everyone is calling me the next Marlon Brando!” Mum replies, looking defeated, “Oh, son, we’ve had the worst day of our lives. Your dad was forced to retire because cars replaced donkey carts. Our stable was condemned and marked for demolition to make room for parking lots. And your sister was put in a cage to be gawked at by tourists…” The donkey replied, “I’m so sorry, mum…” Mum barks back, “So you should be! It was your bloody idea to get a Talent agent!”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then enrich it.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Manchester City scouts looking in Afghanistan sets up an improbable scenario for finding a football star.
- Twist 1: The player is immediately successful, defying expectations.
- Twist 2 (Punchline): The success is undercut by the tragic situation of the player’s family, which is then blamed on his decision to move them to Manchester.
- Humor Elements:
- Juxtaposition: Extreme success vs. extreme misfortune.
- Irony: The player’s dream coming true leads to his family’s nightmare.
- Absurdity: The Afghan player finding success, then the absurd blame from the Mum.
- Stereotype (Slight): Implies Manchester is dangerous/unpleasant.
- Core theme: Culture shock and assimilation, familial responsibility.
Enrichment Attempts:
Attempt 1: Witty Observation Based on Player Origins
- Observation: “You know, it’s funny how football scouting works now. They used to look for players in Brazil for flair, Italy for defence, Germany for efficiency…now they scout Afghanistan, where the players are known for their…resilience and ‘never give up’ attitude. Which, let’s be honest, is probably what you need to play against Liverpool.”
Attempt 2: Football-Themed “Did You Know?”
- “Did You Know?” “That the Manchester City’s success is a lot like Afghanistan’s national sport, Buzkashi: brutal, expensive, and ultimately depends on having the best horse? But in Man City’s case, the horse is an oil baron. At least in Buzkashi, the horse doesn’t complain about the Manchester weather.”
Attempt 3: A new, similar joke setup.
-
Setup: Real Madrid were desperate for a new striker, but all the top targets were unavailable. In desperation, they sent scouts to the Faroe Islands. They found a sheep farmer with an uncanny ability to punt rocks with pinpoint accuracy. They signed him immediately. He debuted in El Classico…and scored the winning goal with a free kick from 40 yards.
Punchline: Back in the Faroe Islands, his wife was distraught. “Our sheepdog’s gone missing, our best ewe has the foot rot, and the taxman’s on the phone!” The footballer replied, “I’m so sorry, what’s wrong?” His wife replies “What’s wrong! It was your bloody idea to invest in property in Madrid!”
Attempt 4: Parody News Headline
- Headline: “Afghan Prodigy Scores Hat-Trick; Manchester Estate Agent Reports Record Surge in Burglar Alarm Sales”
Analysis of Success:
I think Attempt 1 works best as a stand-alone observation, playing on the idea of different cultures of play. Attempt 3, the joke setup, is a bit too close to the original in structure, though it changes the location and sport. The “Did You Know?” is quirky but requires some audience understanding of Buzkashi (a Central Asian sport involving goat carcasses and horses).
In summary, the original joke is funny due to the stark contrast between the player’s success and the family’s misfortune, and the punchline twists the blame onto the very thing that caused the success. To enrich it, you need to either amplify the absurdity, or make a witty observation on the state of football (or culture) in general.