That's because having sex burns a lot of calories.
Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Academic Paper Weight," inspired by the original joke:
Title: Academic Paper Weight
Publishing an academic paper increases a graduate student’s chance of developing crippling self-doubt tenfold, a new study finds.
That’s because writing the introduction is basically existential dread calorie-burning exercise.
Alright, let’s dissect this joke.
Elements & Analysis:
- Premise: A new study suggests marriage triples the likelihood of obesity in men. This establishes an unexpected negative consequence of marriage.
- Punchline: The explanation offered is that sex burns a lot of calories. This is humorous because it implies a lack of sex after marriage, a common (and often exaggerated) stereotype. The humor comes from the contrast between the scientific sounding premise and the cheeky, stereotypical explanation. It also plays on the assumption that calorie-burning through exercise/activity is needed to avoid obesity.
- Key Themes: Marriage, Sex (or lack thereof), Obesity, Scientific Studies, Stereotypes.
Enrichment & New Humor:
Okay, let’s lean into the calorie-burning aspect and the potential link to sex (or lack thereof) in a marriage, adding a layer of "did you know" factoids to make it funnier.
New Joke/Observation:
"So, this study says married men are three times more likely to become obese. Apparently, the ‘honeymoon’ phase, calorie-wise, is drastically shorter than the actual honeymoon. Did you know the average person burns about 5 calories per minute during sex? That’s like… half a gummy bear! Maybe that’s why they’re also three times more likely to binge-watch Netflix after marriage – it’s cheaper than actually engaging in calorie-burning activities."
Breakdown of the New Joke:
- Builds on Original: Starts with the premise of the original joke.
- Added Element: Introduces the "honeymoon phase" comparison.
- Factoid: Integrates a calorie-burn fact (although humorously exaggerated for effect).
- Twist: The absurdity of the calorie-burn leads to a connection with another stereotype about married couples: binge-watching Netflix.
- Implied critique: The statement also alludes to the notion that married people might be less active in other aspects of life that consume calories.
It is also sarcastic, since binging Netflix does not burn calories.
Why this is Funny (hopefully):
The humor lies in the juxtaposition of the "scientific study" with the absurdly low calorie burn statistic, and then connecting it to another relatable (and slightly self-deprecating) stereotype. The implication is that marriage isn’t just about a lack of sex, but a general slide into sedentary comfort. It combines fact, stereotype, and a touch of dark humor to (hopefully) elicit a chuckle.