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Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella, walks into a coffee shop…

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

…and sees a young man feverishly working on his laptop. He walks over to the him and asks, "Whatchya workin' on, young man?"

The young man looks up and says, "Welp, I'm making a custom Windows 11 operating system."

Satya replies, "Oh? And how do you do that?"

The young man replies, "I take the Windows kernel, add my custom GUI, add some bloatware and then a ton of spyware!"

Satya gets angry and has him kicked out of the shop.

The following week, Satya Nadella strolls into another coffee shop and sees the same young man feverishly working on his laptop again. Again he walks over to the young man and asks in a stern voice, "Still working on your custom Windows 11?"

The young man looks up and proudly says, "Nope, today I'm making a custom Ubuntu Linux operating system! I call it Ubuntu Loaded."

Satya asks, "Oh? And how do you do that?"

The young man replies, "Welp, I take the Linux kernel, add my custom GUI, and finally I add the usual bloatware and then some more bloatware on top of that."

Satya replies, "I see. But no spyware?"

The young man looks up and replies, "Naw, that would just make it Windows 11."

Joke Poo: The Plumber’s Diagnosis

A renowned proctologist, Dr. Buttz, walks into a plumbing supply store and sees a young man meticulously examining a selection of pipes. He strolls over to the him and asks, "Whatchya working on, son?"

The young man looks up and says, "Well, Doc, I’m designing a custom home plumbing system."

Dr. Buttz replies, "Oh? And how do you do that?"

The young man replies, "I take standard PVC, add a bunch of unnecessary elbows, install a few backflow preventers where they aren’t needed, and then throw in a septic tank air pump for good measure."

Dr. Buttz gets visibly agitated and says "That sounds like an inefficient and expensive system! Get out!"

The following week, Dr. Buttz is grabbing lunch at a deli when he sees the same young man pouring over blueprints. He walks over to the young man and asks in a stern voice, "Still working on your custom plumbing, I presume?"

The young man looks up and proudly says, "Nope, today I’m designing a custom residential sewer system! I call it the ‘Super Septic Solution.’"

Dr. Buttz asks, "Oh? And how do you do that?"

The young man replies, "Welp, I use gravity-fed pipes, add a complicated filtration system, and finally, I add the usual septic tank plus a bunch of extra aeration and pumps because, well, over-engineering is my specialty."

Dr. Buttz replies, "I see. But no… actual waste treatment?"

The young man looks up and replies, "Naw, that would just make it a toilet."

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then cook up something new.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: Satya Nadella encounters a young man building custom operating systems. This establishes the authority figure (CEO of Microsoft) and the underdog (ambitious young developer).
  • Punchline: The punchline rests on the (exaggerated) perception of Windows 11 containing bloatware and, crucially, spyware, contrasted with the open-source Linux (Ubuntu) supposedly only having bloatware.
  • Humor Source: The humor comes from:
    • Irony: The young man’s naive honesty, unaware (or uncaring) of who he’s speaking to.
    • Self-Deprecation (sort of): Microsoft being the butt of the joke, acknowledging a negative perception of their OS.
    • Wordplay/Twist: The final line flips the expectation – instead of denying spyware, he embraces it as a defining characteristic of Windows 11.
    • Stereotypes: It plays on existing stereotypes of Microsoft and Windows, as well as Ubuntu.

Key Elements for Enrichment:

  • Satya Nadella: CEO of Microsoft, known for a more collaborative and open approach compared to previous leaders.
  • Windows 11: The latest major release of Microsoft’s OS, often criticized (sometimes unfairly) for bloat and privacy concerns.
  • Ubuntu Linux: A popular open-source operating system based on the Linux kernel. Usually considered more lightweight and privacy-respecting than Windows.
  • Bloatware: Unwanted or unnecessary software pre-installed on a device.
  • Spyware: Software that secretly collects user data and transmits it to a third party.

New Humor Attempt: Amusing "Did You Know?" Inspired by the Joke

Did you know? Microsoft actually encourages developers to build on top of Windows, even if it involves "customizations." They just prefer you call them "PowerToys" and distribute them through the Microsoft Store, rather than selling "Windows 11: The Spyware Edition" from a coffee shop. Although, if you get enough downloads, Satya might invest in you… and add even more telemetry. After all, data is the new oil…or, in this case, the new bloatware.

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