“Sell something, and explain your sales strategy.”
Sally went first.
“I sold Girl Scout cookies and made $30,” she said proudly.
“My approach was appealing to people’s sense of community and supporting local troops.”
“Excellent, Sally,” said the teacher.
Next up was Jenny.
“I sold magazines and made $45,” she said.
“I told people it would keep them up to date on world events.”
“Very good, Jenny,” the teacher nodded.
Then came Little Johnny, lugging a giant cardboard box that he plopped on the teacher’s desk.
Out spilled a mountain of cash.
The teacher blinked. “Johnny… how much did you make?”
“Two thousand, one hundred sixty-seven dollars.”
The class gasped. “What were you selling?”
“Toothbrushes.”
The teacher blinked again. “Toothbrushes?! How on earth did you sell that many?”
Johnny grinned. “At first, I couldn’t sell a single one. Nobody cared about toothbrushes. So I changed my strategy.”
“I set up a free chips and dip stand downtown during the lunch rush. Everyone who came by tried the dip.”
He paused. “And every single person said the same thing”
“Ew! This tastes like dog crap!”
Johnny nodded. “‘It is, I told them. Now… would you like to buy a toothbrush?’”
The class erupted in laughter.
The teacher, barely keeping a straight face, said, “Johnny… that’s disgusting! But… oddly impressive. What do you call that sales strategy?”
Johnny shrugged. “The government method: give people something crappy for free, then make them pay to fix it.”
Joke Poo: The Intern Pitch
Monday morning at the tech startup, the CEO called all the summer interns to the conference room to review their independent projects:
“Your goal was simple: innovate. Show me what you’ve created and how you plan to monetize it.”
First up was Alice.
“I developed a new algorithm for personalized music recommendations,” she explained.
“My strategy is to license it to streaming services, offering users better playlists.”
“Excellent, Alice,” the CEO said approvingly.
Next was Ben.
“I built a prototype for a smart water bottle that tracks hydration levels,” he said.
“I’m going to sell it directly to consumers concerned about health and fitness.”
“Very good, Ben,” the CEO nodded.
Then came Chad, wheeling in a rusty old shopping cart filled with… something brown and lumpy.
The CEO frowned. “Chad… what is that?”
“A breakthrough product with massive potential.”
The entire room exchanged confused glances. “What is it actually?!”
“Chocolate scented Poo Spray.”
The CEO winced. “Poo Spray?!” How do you sell that many”
Chad grinned. “At first, I couldn’t sell a single one. Nobody cared about Poo Spray. So I changed my strategy.”
“I set up a free sample booth outside the office bathroom. Everyone who came out got a whiff.”
He paused. “And every single person said the same thing”
“Ew! The toilet smells like Chocolate!”
Chad nodded. “‘It is, I told them. Now… would you like to buy some Poo Spray?’”
The office erupted in laughter.
The CEO, barely keeping a straight face, said, “Chad… that’s horrifying! But… oddly innovative. What do you call that marketing technique?”
Chad shrugged. “The Elon Musk Method: Create a problem only you can solve and then sell that solution as a luxury.”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then build upon it.
Key Elements:
- Setup: The “homework assignment” setup provides a context for different sales approaches. It establishes expectations for sensible strategies.
- Contrast: Sally and Jenny represent conventional, socially acceptable sales techniques. Little Johnny’s success and unorthodox method create the humor.
- Bathos (Anti-Climax): The dramatic reveal of the huge sum of money followed by the ridiculous explanation of his sales tactic. The ‘dog crap’ element is disgusting and humorous.
- Unexpected Twist: The connection of the initial repulsion to the sudden desire for toothbrushes is a surprise.
- Satire: The punchline about the “government method” adds a layer of social commentary.
Interesting Tidbits & Facts to Leverage:
- Toothbrush History: The modern toothbrush (with nylon bristles) wasn’t invented until 1938. Before that, people used chew sticks, rags, or even abrasive powders to clean their teeth. This could add to the “primitive” nature of the ‘dog crap’ scenario.
- Sales Psychology: The joke touches on pain points and solution selling. The ‘dog crap’ creates a need that the toothbrush fulfills. This is essentially turning disgust into sales.
- Dog Coprolite (Fossilized Dog Poop): This exists. Seriously. And people collect it.
- Government Waste & Bureaucracy: The final punchline ties into the common perception of inefficient government spending.
New Humor (Joke Variation):
(Setup remains the same)
Sally went first… (same)
Jenny went next… (same)
Then came Little Johnny, lugging a giant cardboard box that he plopped on the teacher’s desk. Out spilled a mountain of cash.
The teacher blinked. “Johnny… how much did you make?”
“Eleven thousand, four hundred and seventy-two dollars and sixty-three cents.”
The class gasped. “What were you selling?”
“Solar panels.”
The teacher blinked again. “Solar panels?! How on earth did you sell that many?”
Johnny grinned. “At first, I couldn’t sell a single one. Nobody cared about green energy. So I changed my strategy.”
“I went door to door offering free lawn care for a year. Seemed like a good deal, right?”
He paused. “Except… I sprayed every lawn with Roundup.”
The class gasped.
“Then, I went back to each house and said, ‘I made a mistake. But a full installation of solar panels should help you take a step to recover the environment.’
The class erupted in laughter.
The teacher, barely keeping a straight face, said, “Johnny… that’s…diabolical! But… undeniably effective. What do you call that sales strategy?”
Johnny shrugged. “The Big Oil method: Create a problem, then sell the ‘solution’ at an inflated price.”
Explanation of Changes and Enrichment:
- Updated Object: Toothbrushes are mundane. Switching to solar panels taps into modern concerns about environmentalism and the cost of renewable energy.
- More Modern/Satirical Setup: Roundup is a familiar example of an environmentally damaging product. Using it as part of the sales strategy adds a darker, satirical edge.
- Deeper Satire: The “Big Oil method” punchline targets a common criticism of large corporations that benefit from polluting practices while simultaneously selling “green” alternatives.
- Enhanced Absurdity: The sheer scale of the Roundup lawn disaster and the subsequent solar panel sales pushes the joke into more ludicrous territory.
- More Complex Moral: It’s not just that this kid is using an unethical sales tactic. He’s leveraging a real-world dynamic in ways that are more layered than simply having to buy a toothbrush, which allows the punchline to be more resonant.