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My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

I got off with just a slap on the wrist.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” titled “My Vegan Cooking Club”:

Title: My Vegan Cooking Club

My vegan cooking club kicked me out for adding chicken broth to the “vegetable” soup.

I was stewing over it for days, but I guess meating their standards was just too hard.

Okay, let’s dissect this BDSM joke and see what we can whip up:

Analysis of the Original Joke:

  • Core Concept: The joke plays on the double entendre of “hardcore” and “getting off.” In BDSM, “hardcore” can refer to intense practices, while “getting off” means achieving sexual gratification.
  • Humor Source: The humor derives from the irony of a BDSM society finding someone not extreme enough and the unexpected literalness of the punishment (“a slap on the wrist”), which is a mild BDSM act. This is a comedic contrast between expectation and reality.
  • Wordplay: “Got off” is the key phrase, functioning both as a euphemism for acquittal and a description of sexual pleasure.

Key Elements:

  1. BDSM: The lifestyle, practices, and associated vocabulary.
  2. “Hardcore”: The level of intensity or extremity within a BDSM context.
  3. Punishment/Discipline: A common element within BDSM relationships, often consensual and negotiated.
  4. Legal System/Court: A contrasting serious environment for a BDSM related issue.
  5. Double Entendre/Wordplay: The foundation of the joke’s humor.

Comedic Enrichment:

Okay, let’s use these elements to build upon the original joke. Here are a few options:

Option 1: A “Did You Know?” Observation

“Did you know? The term ‘BDSM’ is actually an acronym, but statistically, most practitioners will claim they ‘learned’ it the hard way. It’s also interesting to note that while some societies emphasize safe, sane, and consensual practices, others, like the one in the joke, clearly have performance reviews. Turns out, even in the world of kink, HR is a real pain in the…” [Dramatic pause] “…proverbial neck.”

Option 2: A New Joke (Building on the Original)

Why was the judge in the BDSM society lawsuit so flustered?

Because the plaintiff kept requesting a “motion to restrain” and the defendant kept objecting with, “I consent! I consent!”.

Option 3: A Witty Observation

The joke inadvertently highlights a universal truth: even in subcultures built on pushing boundaries, there’s always someone gatekeeping the degree of extremity. It’s like saying, “Yeah, I’m into skydiving, but you’re only jumping out of a Cessna? Casual.”

Explanation of Choices:

  • Option 1: It plays with the idea of BDSM as a serious topic and uses factual information to add humor. The “HR” line provides a modern, relatable twist.

  • Option 2: This joke continues the legal theme from the original and is designed to be funny on its own.

  • Option 3: Is an observation on the original joke, taking a meta approach by noticing and making the ‘gatekeeping’ in subcultures the main joke.

I’ve tried to enhance the original joke by layering in factual elements, unexpected comparisons, and meta-commentary on the underlying dynamics. The goal is to create humor that goes beyond the initial wordplay and provides a richer, more nuanced comedic experience.

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