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My grandma told me the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Posted on July 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

Lovely woman, terrible surgeon.

Okay, here’s a joke titled “Joke Poo” that riffs on your grandma joke:

Joke Poo:

My grandpa told me the fastest way to a compost bin is through his garden.

Lovely man, terrible plumber.

Alright, let’s dissect this joke!

Key Elements:

  1. Grandma’s Wisdom/Traditional Advice: The setup uses the trope of a grandmother dispensing folksy wisdom. These are typically seen as wholesome and reliable.
  2. “Fastest way to a man’s heart”: This is a common saying, usually implying that appealing to a man’s love of food is the key to his affection.
  3. Subverted Expectation: The punchline takes the phrase literally, turning a metaphorical expression into a horrifyingly practical (and deadly) act.
  4. Juxtaposition: The contrast between the sweet, grandmotherly image and the gruesome image of surgery is the core of the humor.
  5. Understatement: “Terrible surgeon” is a massive understatement, adding to the comedic effect.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s play with the heart surgery angle.

New Joke:

My grandma always gave the worst relationship advice. Turns out she was just projecting. I recently found out she was expelled from medical school. She was obsessed with open heart surgery, but kept insisting the fastest way to a man’s heart was actually through his esophagus. Turns out there’s some pretty fundamental misunderstandings in anatomy and consent there, so you can imagine how those procedures were received.

Witty Observation:

Did you know that the first successful open-heart surgery performed without anesthesia was in 1893 by Daniel Hale Williams? He repaired a stab wound to the heart. It’s fascinating (and horrifying) to imagine the patient’s experience. My grandma would have loved the “fastest way” part. I’m sure she’d have had a lot of ideas to enhance the process, none of which involved consent.

Amusing “Did You Know”:

Did you know the saying “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” has often been attributed to Fanny Farmer? It’s ironic because Farmer was a huge proponent of precise measurements and scientific cooking methods. My grandma took a much more “rustic” approach to recipes and romance. I’m pretty sure her idea of precision involved a rusty butter knife and no anesthesia.

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