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My spouse called me from the store cussing and swearing about the cashier this and the cashier that.

Posted on October 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

I finally asked: "are you in the self-checkout"???

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your joke:

Joke Poo: The Plumber’s Lament

My neighbour called me, practically screaming, about the new toilet. Cursing the flapper valve, ranting about the fill tube, just a complete meltdown.

I finally asked: “Did you try plunging it first?”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic sparks we can ignite!

Analysis:

  • Premise: The joke sets up a scenario where someone is extremely frustrated with a cashier.
  • Misdirection: We naturally assume the spouse is interacting with an actual human cashier. The profanity reinforces the idea of a heated, interpersonal conflict.
  • Punchline: The question “are you in the self-checkout???” subverts the expectation, revealing the source of frustration is not a person, but a machine.
  • Humor: The humor arises from the relatable experience of battling with often-unintuitive and glitchy self-checkout systems, and the absurdity of directing intense frustration towards an inanimate object. We’ve all been there. The joke implies a certain level of technological incompetence on the part of the spouse and the widespread sentiment that these machines increase frustration rather than decrease it.

Key Elements:

  • Frustration: The core emotion driving the joke.
  • Self-Checkout Machines: The source of the frustration and the object of the joke.
  • Technological Incompetence (Implied): The suggestion that the speaker’s spouse is struggling with the technology.
  • Human vs. Machine Interaction: The contrast between expecting a human interaction and dealing with a frustrating machine.

Comedic Enrichment & New Joke Creation:

Let’s focus on self-checkout machines and their quirks. Here’s a new joke built around a “Did You Know?” fact:

Original Joke Variation:

My dad was shouting at the self-checkout again. It took him ten minutes to weigh a single banana! I said, “Dad, it’s just produce!” He yelled back, “I KNOW! But this thing keeps asking if I want a warranty on it!”

Humorous Observation / Did You Know? (Related):

Did you know that early self-checkout systems were often abandoned or heavily staffed because customers found them more confusing and slower than traditional checkouts? It’s true! Now, many stores practically force you to use them. I guess the joke’s on us. So next time you’re struggling with the self-checkout, just remember: you’re not alone, you’re part of a decades-long experiment in retail efficiency that’s somehow still more frustrating than waiting in line!

Why it works:

  • Connects to Original Joke: The observation plays on the central theme of frustration with self-checkouts.
  • Interesting Fact: The “Did you Know?” element provides a surprising piece of information about the history of self-checkouts.
  • Relatability: It taps into the shared experience of struggling with these machines and the feeling of being pressured to use them.
  • Irony: Highlights the irony of technology meant to simplify our lives often making them more complicated.

The key is to take the familiar frustration of self-checkouts and either amplify it with absurdity (the warranty on a banana) or connect it to a larger, perhaps even ironic, context (the history of self-checkout failures).

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