Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

My wife gave me a handjob the other day using vaseline

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I came three times trying to wash that shit off

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the provided joke, titled "Construction Chaos":

Joke Poo: Construction Chaos

My construction crew paved the new road with Crisco the other day.

I came three times trying to drive home.

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then amp up the humor.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: The setup is straightforward – the wife provides a handjob using Vaseline. This establishes an expectation of pleasure and intimacy, albeit with a somewhat unusual lubricant.
  • Punchline: The punchline hinges on the unexpected struggle to remove the Vaseline, leading to multiple orgasms. The humor arises from the contrast between the intended pleasurable experience and the messy, inconvenient reality, leading to overstimulation.
  • Humor Type: This leans towards observational humor blended with some raunchy situational comedy. It’s playing on common (though possibly exaggerated) experiences related to sex and the inherent messiness that can sometimes ensue. It also uses the unexpected twist of pleasure turning into a cleanup annoyance.

Key Elements:

  1. Handjob/Sexual Act: A universally understood intimate act.
  2. Vaseline: An unusual lubricant choice, associated with messiness and persistence.
  3. Multiple Orgasms: Exaggerates the effect of the lubricant and the frustration of the cleanup.
  4. The Gap Between Expectation and Reality: The core of the humor – the anticipated pleasure vs. the irritating cleanup.

Humorous Enrichment:

Now, let’s leverage these elements for a new dose of humor. I’ll go with a "Did You Know?" style observation:

Did you know: Vaseline, invented in 1859 by Robert Chesebrough, was originally marketed as a treatment for cuts and burns. Back then, it was called "Wonder Jelly." I guess you could still call it "wonder jelly" if you accidentally use too much during certain activities. But instead of healing cuts, it might just result in a situation where you’re yelling, "Honey, where’s the industrial-strength degreaser? And why am I seeing stars?" Side effects may include a slightly awkward conversation about proper lubrication techniques and a renewed appreciation for the invention of soap. Chesebrough lived to be 96 and supposedly ate a spoonful of Vaseline every day. I’m not saying that’s the secret to longevity, but it definitely explains his perspective on cleanup.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme