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My wife is brilliant. She never says no to a shag, has great tits and even swallows.

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

But I have to say, her bird collecting has gone far enough

Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the provided joke, titled "Doggy Dilemma":

Title: Doggy Dilemma

My husband is amazing. He’s always up for adventure, incredibly loyal, and has a fantastic nose for hidden treasures.

But honestly, his online dating profile picture… showcasing his entire family tree… has gone too far.

Alright, let’s dissect this joke and see what comedic nuggets we can mine.

Deconstruction:

  • Setup: The first sentence is a hyperbolic declaration of the wife’s desirability. It relies on sexually suggestive language ("shag," "great tits," "swallows") to create a very specific image.
  • Punchline: The "But…" introduces a subversion. The expectation is that the continuation will relate to, or perhaps humorously diminish, the qualities listed in the setup. Instead, it pivots to an unexpected and seemingly unrelated hobby: bird collecting.
  • Humor: The humor derives from the juxtaposition of the overtly sexual description with the mundane (and arguably incongruous) hobby. The punchline gains additional bite from the euphemistic or suggestive nature of the qualities described in the setup, which are revealed in the punchline to be referring to different species of birds.
  • Key Elements:
    • Sexual Innuendo: The setup is entirely built on implied sexual acts.
    • Subversion of Expectations: The listener anticipates the continuation will be about the wife’s physical attributes or bedroom skills.
    • Contrast: The sharp contrast between the raunchy setup and the innocent hobby is crucial.
    • Double Entendre: The qualities mentioned are simultaneously sexual activities and qualities of birds.

Comedic Enrichment:

Now, let’s use some bird-related facts and observations to create a new piece of humor inspired by the original:

Option 1: The "Did You Know?" Enhancement

"My wife, she’s amazing. Always up for… well, you know. Plus, she’s got a couple of real beauties. And talk about… commitment. She goes all the way. But honestly, this rare bird collecting has gotten out of control.

Did you know that the European Goldfinch, known for its vibrant colors and cheerful song, was a popular pet in the Victorian era? Imagine the bragging rights back then… ‘My dear wife not only swallows, but she owns a freaking Carduelis carduelis!’"

Why it works: This preserves the format and adds a layer. The "Did you know?" is delivered with a wink. The contrast between the initial lewd interpretation and the relatively obscure (yet fascinating) fact about Goldfinches is funny in itself. And the imagined Victorian-era one-upmanship is just delightfully absurd.

Option 2: A Bird-Based Observation

"I went birdwatching with my wife the other day. She pointed out a pair of swallows, ‘Aren’t they graceful?’ she said. I just nodded, remembering all the times she’s been far more than just graceful…"

Why it works: This is much simpler but evokes a similar feeling through a more explicit and direct comparison between the qualities of the birds and the qualities of the wife in the original joke.

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