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My wife says I never listen

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

… or something like that.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the “My wife says I never listen…” joke:

Joke Poo: My Dog’s Therapist

My dog’s therapist says he has trouble focusing… or squirrels.

Okay, let’s break down this joke.

Joke Analysis:

  • Type: One-liner, plays on irony and self-deprecation.
  • Key Elements:
    • Wife: Establishes a relatable relationship dynamic (husband-wife).
    • Never Listen: A common complaint, often used for comedic exaggeration. This creates an expectation of a sincere confession.
    • “…or something like that”: The punchline. Undermines the previous statement, proving the wife’s point immediately and hilariously. This is the core of the joke – the speaker’s inability to even acknowledge what the wife says, let alone listen to it.
  • Humor: Relatability, irony, surprise, and a dash of the absurd. The joke relies on the audience recognizing the familiar complaint and then being caught off guard by the complete and immediate validation of that complaint.

Enrichment & New Humor:

Now, let’s use facts and interesting tidbits related to listening (or rather, not listening) and relationships to craft something new.

Tidbit: Studies suggest that selective hearing is a real phenomenon, with some research indicating that the brain actively filters out information it deems unimportant. This filtering can be subconscious and influenced by factors like stress, fatigue, and… the tone of your spouse’s voice (just kidding…mostly).

New Joke:

My therapist says I have a serious problem with selective hearing. I told him, “That’s ridiculous! I heard every word you thought you said.”

Explanation of New Joke:

  • Builds on the original theme: The core problem of not listening is still present.
  • Adds complexity: Introduces the concept of selective hearing as a recognized issue, then exaggerates it to the point of absurdity.
  • Implies (mis)understanding: The speaker is not just not listening, they’re actively projecting and interpreting based on their own biases, highlighting the communication breakdown.
  • Relates to original joke’s “wife” dynamic, but in a therapist setting: The core problem of filtering information is amplified when a therapist, who is supposed to be the most trusted audience, hears that the patient is not listening.

Alternative Approach: Amusing “Did You Know?”

Did you know: Studies have shown that men, on average, only hear about 50% of what their wives say… but 75% of what their buddies say when discussing sports. This is scientifically attributed to… uh… static interference… yeah, that’s it, static interference… near the kitchen appliances.

Explanation:

  • Plays on Stereotypes: Leans into common stereotypes about men and listening habits.
  • Exaggerates the Issue: Quantifies the selective listening with specific percentages.
  • Uses Pseudo-Science: The “static interference” explanation is deliberately absurd and amusing, poking fun at attempts to justify these behaviors.

Hopefully, these examples effectively leverage the original joke’s elements to create new and entertaining content. The goal is to amplify the humor, add a layer of insight, and make the core premise even more relatable (or, in this case, relatable-adjacent with a hint of absurdity).

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