Suppose a company (a hypothetical company making for my gf as a joke for anniversary) that provides boyfriend services. It's website provides services like 1 hr snuggle time with 10 kisses free ! Or fullfilling all your shopping needs for a month and some extra stats shown in there like 1000+ numbers of "i love you" messages provided or in service for 4+ years. And few other stuff like "gaurenteed fullfilling your every fetish" you get the point.
I wanted a main tagline for the website/company. It has to be a sexual AND something a corporate company would say, and it needs to sound innocent and ignorant.
For example a baiting company might have the tagline "we aren't just baiters, we are the master baiters" or a Meat processing company might say "You can't beat our meat". Both sound ignorant but when you read it, it has a completely different meaning. The tagline needs to work with the company's context tho.
It would be nice if it is somehow related to foreplay and orgasm and edging but all types of taglines are welcome as long as its relevant to the company !
Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" of that idea, aiming for the same kind of suggestive-yet-innocent tagline:
Joke Poo: Doggone Good Grooming
Suppose a company (a hypothetical company for a friend’s pet grooming business, a joke for their birthday) that provides dog grooming services. Its website provides services like "The Pawdicure Package" (nails clipped, paw massage) or "The Shedding Solution" (de-shedding treatment, extra brushing) with fun stats like "10,000+ tails wagged" or "In service for 5+ years, keeping pups pretty!". And other stuff like "Guaranteed to get your dog looking his best… down there!"
I wanted a main tagline for the website/company. It has to be somewhat suggestive of inappropriate dog touching, and something a corporate company would say, and it needs to sound innocent and ignorant.
For example a fishing company might have the tagline "we have a line to catch em all" or a moving company might say "We’re experts at moving heavy loads, big or small." Both sound ignorant but when you read it, it has a completely different meaning. The tagline needs to work with the company’s context though.
It would be nice if it is somehow related to dog grooming and weird dog grooming, but all types of taglines are welcome as long as its relevant to the company!
Tagline Options:
- "We Handle Every Breed With Care." (Plays on the double meaning of "handle")
- "We’ll Get Your Tail Wagging!" (Innocent on the surface, but…)
- "Experience the Ultimate in Canine Relaxation… and Satisfaction!" (Similar suggestive)
- "We make your dog look good from nose to tail (and everything in between)"
- "We will groom your dog and love them, even the naughty bits"
- "Our groomers get you covered, from top to bottom (for your dog of course!)"
Okay, let’s analyze the joke concept and then generate some taglines, followed by some comedic enrichment based on the elements we use.
Joke Analysis:
The core humor comes from the juxtaposition of a blatantly sexual service ("boyfriend services" with snuggle time, kisses, fetish fulfillment) framed with corporate language and promises of quantifiable results. The humor is in the wink-wink nudge-nudge, the double entendre, and the thinly veiled very suggestive nature of the "services."
Key Elements:
- Corporate Tone: Promises, Guarantees, Service Time ("1 hour"), Statistics ("1000+ messages," "4+ years").
- Boyfriend Services: Snuggling, Kisses, Shopping, "I Love You" Messages, Fetish Fulfillment
- Double Entendre/Sexual Innuendo: The core of the humor.
Tagline Generation (per request – sexual and corporate-sounding, innocent/ignorant veneer):
Here are a few options, ranging in boldness:
- "Optimizing Your Relationship ROI™" (ROI = Return on Investment. Implies quantifiable happiness and satisfaction. The trademark symbol adds to the corporate feel.)
- "Dedicated to Customer Satisfaction, From Start to Finish." (Classic phrasing with a clear double meaning here)
- "Meeting Your Needs, Exceeding Your Expectations… Period." (The use of ‘period’ makes it more subtle, but obviously could refer to an orgasm).
- "Your Partner in Peak Performance™." (Evokes corporate performance metrics but obviously also plays on sexual stamina/satisfaction).
- "Delivering Unparalleled Intimacy Solutions™" (Uses the business word solutions but is really referring to the needs of sex)
Comedic Enrichment (Expanding on Key Elements):
Let’s take the "Optimizing Your Relationship ROI™" tagline and build upon it with some related humor:
Joke/Observation:
"Did you know the average relationship has a negative ROI for men when factoring in the cost of gifts, dinners, and emotional labor? That’s why we developed the Boyfriend-as-a-Service (BaaS) model. We’ve streamlined the process, eliminated the overhead (like remembering birthdays!), and optimized for maximum happiness delivery. Now that’s disruptive innovation!"
"Did You Know?" Fact (Humorous/Related):
"According to a recent (totally fabricated) study by the Institute for Advanced Relationship Metrics, cuddling has a 70% higher ROI than couples therapy. Our scientifically optimized snuggle algorithm ensures maximum oxytocin release per minute, resulting in peak emotional investment returns."
Witty Observation:
"The problem with traditional boyfriends is the lack of accountability. You can’t fire a boyfriend for poor performance… until now! With our performance-based service agreements, you’re always in control of your relationship’s Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) – kissing, cuddling, compliments, and, of course, the big O."
The goal here is to continue playing on the juxtaposition of corporate jargon and the actual services offered, pushing the absurdity to create humor. The "Did You Know?" fact adds a layer of mock-seriousness, reinforcing the joke.