Little Johnny's neighbour just had a baby. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.
When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.
Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the time of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.
Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks Johnny." Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Is he able to see alright?"
"Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision."
"That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!"
Joke Poo: Accountant’s Dilemma
An accountant named Agnes just started a new job at a bakery. Sadly, the bakery was notorious for having inventory systems that were completely wrong.
When the owner introduced Agnes to the bakery’s manager, Bob, he pulled her aside for a chat. He explained that the bakery’s inventory numbers were always off, and that if Agnes were to discover any discrepancies or even say the word “inventory,” she would receive a talking to when they get back in the office..
Agnes told the owner that she understood and agreed not to mention the discrepancies in the inventory numbers.
Agnes looks at the invoices and receipts and says “Wow, what a successful bakery.” The owner replies, ‘Why, Thanks Agnes.” Agnes says: “It has beautiful croissants, delicious cakes, and really great pastries, everything looks so yummy. Are you selling all your products okay?”
“Yes”, says the owner, “we are so grateful, we are selling more than we can bake.”
“That is great”, says Agnes, “cause you would be stuffed if you needed to store them!”
Okay, let’s break down this joke.
Elements of the Joke:
- Setup: The neighbor’s baby is born without ears. Johnny’s dad warns him not to mention it under threat of punishment.
- Misdirection: Johnny appears to be adhering to his father’s instructions, complimenting other features of the baby. This creates a sense of relief and expectation of a positive outcome.
- Punchline: Johnny’s concluding statement, “cause he’d be stuffed if he needed glasses!” is funny because it highlights the absurdity of needing glasses without ears to hold them, thus still managing to allude to the missing ears in a clever, albeit slightly morbid, way. The humor comes from the unexpected twist and Johnny’s naive logic.
- Character: Little Johnny, the innocent/mischievous child who interprets instructions literally and finds a loophole.
Factual/Interesting Tidbits for Enrichment:
- Hearing and Glasses: While the joke focuses on the physical impossibility of wearing glasses without ears, it’s worth noting that bone-anchored hearing aids (BAHAs) can be used in people who have no outer ears or significantly reduced hearing function. These devices are attached to the skull and transmit sound vibrations directly to the inner ear.
- Alternative Eyewear: There are actually alternative ways to hold glasses. For example, adhesive nose pads or frames designed to rest on the cheekbones instead of the ears exist, often used for sports or for people with anatomical difficulties.
New Humorous Content:
Joke 1 (Based on the irony of bone-anchored hearing aids):
Little Johnny’s neighbor had a baby born without ears. Johnny, remembering his dad’s warning, oohed and aahed over the baby’s perfect vision. “He’s so lucky,” Johnny exclaimed. “Imagine having such good eyesight! He’ll never need one of those bone-anchored eye aids… wait…”
Joke 2 (Based on alternative eyewear):
Little Johnny saw the earless baby and, despite his father’s warning, blurted out, “How’s he gonna wear glasses?” His dad grimaced. The mom chuckled, “Oh, we’ll manage. They make these new ones that stick right to your face!” Johnny’s eyes widened. “Wow,” he said, “So, if he needs a hearing aid, will that stick on too? Like a face-ear?”
Witty Observation:
The joke’s humor comes from a child’s literal thinking. Adults often try to find polite euphemisms, but Johnny exposes the underlying problem in the most direct (and funny) way possible. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most obvious solution is also the most hilarious.