My granddad said "It's going to be horrendous on the roads this weekend, snow is forecast".
"Tell me something I don't know" I replied.
"I can get my whole fist up your Nanna's arse" he said .
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the original:
Joke Poo: The IT Department
My boss warned, “It’s going to be a nightmare with the new software rollout this week, loads of glitches are expected.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I replied.
“I can remotely access your screen while you’re… dealing with your dating apps at your desk,” he said.
Alright, let’s break down this doozy of a joke.
Elements of the Original Joke:
- Setup: A seemingly innocuous conversation about the weather forecast.
- Misdirection: The grandson’s snarky reply (“Tell me something I don’t know”) invites a factual or observational response.
- Punchline: A crude, shocking, and unexpected revelation about the grandfather’s intimate knowledge of his wife. The humor derives from the violation of conversational norms, the shocking nature of the content, and the age/grandparental role of the protagonist.
- Target: The discomfort factor relies heavily on the incongruity of the “Grandad” character associated with such information.
Why it Works (or Doesn’t – Depending on Your Taste):
- Surprise: The punchline is completely out of left field. It is a total violation of expectations.
- Taboo: The subject matter is sexually explicit and relates to bodily functions, which are often considered taboo in polite conversation, especially with grandparents.
- Character Contrast: The image of a kindly grandfather is juxtaposed with this vulgar declaration, creating a jarring and humorous effect (for some).
Now, let’s enrich this with some related facts and craft a new piece of humor:
Fact/Interesting Tidbit: The record for the largest object voluntarily inserted into a human rectum is rumored to be a whole watermelon. However, I am not advocating or endorsing such activity in any way and have no way to confirm these allegations.
New Joke/Witty Observation:
My Granddad said, “They’re predicting a blizzard this weekend. Travel’s going to be a nightmare.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I quipped.
He chuckled, “Well, did you know that the average human rectum can stretch up to eight inches in diameter? Although… some rectums are more… accommodating than others.” He winked. “Your Nanna makes a mean fruit salad.”
Explanation of Changes/Enhancements:
- Subtler Taboo: We’re still playing with the taboo of anal sex, but the reference is more suggestive than explicit.
- Wordplay: The “fruit salad” comment hints at the original joke’s crude imagery, but with a layer of plausible deniability.
- Factual Hook: The mention of rectal stretching provides a quasi-scientific element, making the joke slightly more “intellectual” (if such a thing is possible with this subject matter).
- Character Consistency: The grandfather maintains his suggestive, slightly inappropriate demeanor.
The new joke aims for a more subtle and less shocking brand of humor while still referencing the original’s outrageousness. It also introduces a slightly absurd “fact” to enhance the comedic effect.