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Old man is sitting on his porch one day, just watching the world going by as he always does, when he notices a kid walking by (and seeming very purposeful), dragging something behind him. The old man calls out, “Hey kid! Whatcha got there?” (long but worth it)

Posted on August 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

The kid replies, "I gots me some chicken-wire."

Old man asks, "Whatcha doin' with chicken-wire?"

Kid replies, "I'm gonna catch me some chickens!"

Old man cries out in disbelief, "Chicken-wire's for penning 'em in, boy. You can't CATCH chickens with no chicken-wire!"

The kid says, "Oh yes, you can! Come with me and I'll show you!"

The old man just grumpily waves him off, chuckling to himself at the kid's stupidity. But then, an hour later, here comes the kid, walking back up the road with a couple chickens wrapped up in his chicken-wire. To which the old man just scratches his head in confusion, too stunned to say anything.

So, the next day, the old man is once again sitting on his porch and he sees the same kid, boppin' down the lane, tossing something up and down in his hand.

The old man hollers out, "Hey kid! Whatcha got there?"

"I got me some duck-tape!", the kid proudly exclaims. "I'ma go catch me some ducks!"

The old man, thoroughly disgusted by the obvious ignorance and stupidity he's just heard, hollers, "It ain't DUCK-tape, boy, it's DUCT-tape! And you sure as hell can't catch no ducks with no DUCT-tape!"

"Sure you can!" the kid replies, smiling. "Come with me, I'll show ya!"

"Oh just get the fuck outta here!" the old man yells dismissively.

Well, sure as shit, an hour later, here comes the kid with three ducks wrapped up in duct-tape!

The old man just rolls his eyes and goes back into his house, too confused to know what to say.

Well, the NEXT day, here comes the kid. Swinging something in his hand, swishing it back and forth.

The old man yells out, "Hey kid! Whatchoo got there today?"

The kid, beaming from ear to ear, says, "I gots me some pussy-willow."

The old man says, "Hold on a second, son. Just let me grab my hat…"

Joke Poo: The Cryptid Hunter

An experienced cryptid hunter is sitting outside his remote cabin one day, sharpening his machete and keeping an eye out, when he sees a young, eager cryptozoology enthusiast walking by, dragging something behind him. The hunter calls out, “Hey kid! Whatcha got there?”

The kid replies, “I gots me some thermal imaging goggles!”

The hunter asks, “Whatcha doin’ with thermal imaging goggles?”

Kid replies, “I’m gonna catch me a Bigfoot!”

The hunter scoffs, “Thermal imaging’s for finding them, boy. You can’t catch Bigfoot with no thermal imaging goggles!”

The kid says, “Oh yes, you can! Come with me and I’ll show you!”

The hunter just waves him off dismissively, chuckling to himself at the kid’s naivete. But then, an hour later, here comes the kid, dragging a very large, very hairy, and visibly overheated man wrapped in a bear trap. The hunter scratches his head in confusion, too stunned to say anything.

So, the next day, the hunter is once again sitting outside his cabin, cleaning his rifle, and he sees the same kid, strutting down the path, tossing something up and down in his hand.

The hunter hollers out, “Hey kid! Whatcha got there?”

“I got me some mothballs!”, the kid proudly exclaims. “I’ma go catch me a Mothman!”

The hunter, thoroughly disgusted by the obvious ignorance and stupidity he’s just heard, hollers, “Mothballs are to repel moths, not catch them! You sure as hell can’t catch no Mothman with no mothballs!”

“Sure you can!” the kid replies, smiling. “Come with me, I’ll show ya!”

“Oh just get the hell outta here!” the hunter yells dismissively.

Well, sure as shoot, an hour later, here comes the kid, carrying a terrified, small, winged chihuahua covered in mothballs. It’s sneezing uncontrollably.

The hunter just rubs his temples and goes back into his cabin, too confused to know what to say.

Well, the NEXT day, here comes the kid. Swinging something in his hand, swishing it back and forth.

The hunter yells out, “Hey kid! Whatchoo got there today?”

The kid, beaming from ear to ear, says, “I gots me some cryptid pheromones!”

The hunter says, “Hold on a second, son. Just let me grab my hazmat suit…”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then spin it into something new.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: An old man, a recurring character, observes a kid using unconventional methods for animal capture. This establishes a pattern of the old man’s condescending disbelief contrasted with the kid’s surprising success.
  • Premise: The core humor is the reversal of expectations. The old man, presumably possessing more experience and knowledge, is proven wrong each time. The kid’s naivete is juxtaposed with his actual results.
  • Punchline: The final punchline exploits the double entendre of “pussy-willow.” The old man, having been repeatedly fooled and facing a suggestive item, preemptively prepares for the next seemingly impossible scenario, implying a lewd outcome. This relies on the listener making the connection between “pussy-willow” and a suggestive situation.
  • Key Elements:
    • Generational Difference: The old man represents traditional knowledge, the kid represents unorthodox thinking (or perhaps blind luck).
    • Reversal of Expectations: The cornerstone of the joke.
    • Wordplay: The “duct-tape” vs “duck-tape” misunderstanding and the final “pussy-willow” double entendre.
    • Escalation: The joke builds with each encounter, leading to a more absurd and suggestive conclusion.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s focus on the “duct-tape” element. Did you know…

  • Interesting Fact: Duct tape (originally “duck tape”) was invented during World War II! Soldiers needed a waterproof tape to seal ammunition boxes. It was olive drab in color, leading some to call it “duck tape” because it repelled water like a duck’s back. It only later became silver.
  • Further Fact: It also had another purpose in the war, with soldiers using it for repairs. Some historians say it was useful enough in the war to be considered an important military tool.

New Joke/Observation:

Joke 1:

An MIT engineer is stranded in the wilderness with nothing but a roll of duct tape, a rubber band, and a paperclip. A park ranger asks, “What are you going to do?”

The engineer replies, “What else? Rebuild society, starting with a better alternative to the US electrical grid!”

Joke 2:

I tried to explain the power of duct tape to my grandpa. He scoffed, “Back in my day, we used baling wire and willpower!”

I said, “Grandpa, that’s exactly why you guys lost so many tanks in World War II!”

Joke 3:

A teenager is arguing with their parents about fixing the broken garage door.

“You just need to apply some duct tape”, the teen suggests.

The Dad shouts, “I thought you said that it’s the solution to everything, not the ONLY solution!”

The comedic enrichment plays on the modern reputation of duct tape. Now, instead of a clueless old man, it is an expert showing off the usefulness of duct tape.

Todays SH1T Jokes

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