Initially they didn't talk much, but after a little time they started having family get-togethers. They became good friends for a while, even going so far as to have little decoration challenges every holiday.
Omar always pulled out all the stops come Christmas, and he seemed to enjoy it so much that, often, Chris would concede and just admire his neighbor's over-the-top yuletide spirit.
But one year, Chris felt like upping the ante and properly competing. So instead of doing a large spread of house decor, Chris commissioned the construction of an enormous lawn ornament.
The next evening, Omar looked across the lawn and gasped–there, standing taller than a house, was a towering statue of Thor, colorfully lit and dressed like an elf.
He laughed it off as ridiculous and tacky, but to his surprise it was drawing much more attention, from strangers and neighbors alike, than his own festive manor.
More than a little disgruntled that he was no longer the talk of the HOA, he made his irritation known at dinner. Curious, his oldest daughter went over to see this titan in person.
Later that night, Chris awoke to his children's shouts. He ran to the window and saw his beautiful Elf Thor flaming. The fire department came, but too late, as the damage was done and the magnificent creature destroyed.
Chris checked the cameras and saw what looked like a teenager approaching the statue, but before he could make out who it was, the feed cut. All footage past this point was corrupted.
Distraught, he reached out to Omar and admitted how important it was to him to win the decor war just one year, and he just wished he could find out who this kid was. Omar consoled him as best he could, but now worried he was going to have to confront his daughter….
He knocked on her door and asked her to be honest with him. She scoffed, and pulled up the house security on her laptop. Sure enough, there she was, walking back to the house only 10 minutes after leaving to see the statue. According to the CFI, the fire started over an hour later.
We may never learn the truth, but we know one thing for certain: Epps' teen didn't kill Hems' elf.
Joke Poo: The Case of the Missing Manuscript
Agatha Christie moved next door to Stephen King. Initially, they didn’t talk much, but after a little time, they started having writer’s block support groups. They became good friends, even going so far as to have little “literary-themed house parties” every year.
Agatha always hosted lavish affairs, meticulously planned with intricate murder mystery games and characters inspired by her novels. She seemed to enjoy it so much that, often, Stephen would concede and just admire his neighbor’s old-world charm and whodunit spirit.
But one year, Stephen felt like upping the ante and properly competing. So, instead of hosting a sprawling gothic feast, Stephen decided to secretly create a new manuscript.
The next evening, Agatha looked across the hedges and gasped – propped against the trunk of the old oak tree in Stephen’s yard, she saw a single, glowing laptop radiating with an eerie light. Upon closer inspection, there was a manuscript displayed on the screen, the title reading: “The Shining 2: This Time it’s Personal”.
She laughed it off as ridiculous fan fiction, but to her surprise, it was drawing much more attention, from aspiring writers and book critics alike, than her own sophisticated soiree.
More than a little disgruntled that she was no longer the talk of the literary scene, she made her irritation known at dinner. Curious, her grandson went over to Stephen’s house to “borrow” the manuscript and see for himself what all the fuss was about.
Later that night, Stephen awoke to the sound of his dog barking wildly. He ran to the window and saw the laptop was gone. It looked as if someone had hacked into the laptop, but before he could figure out who it was, all the files were deleted, leaving no record of his work.
Distraught, he reached out to Agatha and admitted how important it was to him to impress her just one year, and he just wished he could find out who took the manuscript. Agatha consoled him as best she could, but now worried she was going to have to confront her grandson….
She knocked on his door and asked him to be honest with her. He scoffed, and pulled up the house security on his laptop. Sure enough, there he was, walking back to the house only 10 minutes after leaving to visit Stephen. According to the laptop’s log, the files were deleted over an hour later.
We may never learn the truth, but we know one thing for certain: Agatha’s grandson didn’t delete King’s manuscript.
Okay, let’s break down this joke.
Key Elements:
- Celebrity Names: Omar Epps and Chris Hemsworth – using recognizable figures to immediately establish a friendly rivalry.
- The Absurdity of the Competition: Christmas decoration competition escalating to a giant Thor-elf statue. This is the core absurdity that makes it funny.
- Over-the-Top Christmas Spirit: The dedication to holiday decorating taken to an extreme.
- Spoiler-Style Punchline: “Epps’ teen didn’t kill Hems’ elf.” – A pun on the idiom “Epstein didn’t kill himself” using their last names.
- Suspense and Mystery: The corrupted footage, the daughter’s actions, and the lack of resolution create a whodunit feel within the comedic framework.
Factual/Interesting Tidbits to Enhance the Humor
- Omar Epps and Medicine: Omar Epps is actually a pre-med dropout! He had a biology major before pursuing acting. This could be leveraged to suggest some sort of ‘chemical reaction’ to explain the statue burning down…
- Chris Hemsworth and Australia: Chris Hemsworth is a huge advocate for his native Australia, particularly environmental causes. A spin-off could use this fact to show Chris building the statue to protect local Aussie wildlife, or even donating the statue’s remains to a conservation project after the fire.
New Humor Piece:
The Setup: Omar Epps and Chris Hemsworth are still neighbors, but the Christmas Decoration War of ’23 left some… scars. This year, they’re trying a different approach.
New ‘Did You Know’: Did you know that since the Great Elf-Thor Incident of ’22, insurance companies now have a specific clause covering “Acts of God and/or Overly Enthusiastic Holiday Decor Involving Nordic Deities”? Chris Hemsworth found this out the hard way. His claim for the Elf-Thor statue was denied due to “pre-existing condition of mythological escalation”. He tried arguing that Thor was technically real in the Marvel Universe, but the insurance agent wasn’t having it. They politely suggested he take it up with Disney.
New Observation: Omar, ever the level-headed ex-pre-med student, has been secretly monitoring the soil around the charred Elf-Thor remains. He suspects the statue, being composed of unknown “festive” materials, is leaching some pretty nasty toxins into the groundwater. He’s considering staging an intervention… not to end the decoration wars, but to protect the local ecosystem. His concern is less “who burned down the statue” and more “what unholy cocktail of plastics was it made of?” He later comments, “At least I didn’t commit grand-lar-theft-auto.”