Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

Omniscient computer

Posted on September 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

The businessman was trying to sell his 'omniscient computer' to a skeptical client. He challenged the man, “Ask anything of this computer and it will provide you with an accurate answer.”

“OK,” replied the client, “Where is my father right now?”

The computer answered: “YOUR FATHER IS FISHING IN MICHIGAN.”

“Aha!” crowed the client, “My father has been dead for 20 years. Your computer is completely wrong!”

The businessman never lost faith in his computer, and instructed the client to ask the question in a different manner.

“OK,” queried the client, “Where is my mother’s husband?”

Answered the computer: “YOUR MOTHER’S HUSBAND HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 20 YEARS. YOUR FATHER JUST LANDED A FIVE-POUND TROUT.”

Joke Poo: Sentient Toaster

A food critic was demonstrating his new ‘sentient toaster’ to a dubious chef. He boasted, “Ask this toaster anything about bread and it will give you the perfect assessment.”

“Alright,” said the chef, arms crossed, “What is the ideal internal temperature of a sourdough boule right now?”

The toaster whirred and beeped, then declared: “THE IDEAL INTERNAL TEMPERATURE OF A SOURDOUGH BOULE RIGHT NOW IS 205 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT.”

“Hah!” the chef scoffed. “I just pulled my sourdough out of the oven an hour ago. It’s cold. Your toaster is clearly a fake!”

The food critic, flustered but unwavering, told the chef to rephrase the question.

“Okay then,” the chef said sarcastically, “What is the ideal internal temperature of the two-day-old baguette that I threw in the trash this morning?”

The toaster pinged cheerfully: “THE IDEAL INTERNAL TEMPERATURE OF THE TWO-DAY-OLD BAGUETTE YOU THREW IN THE TRASH THIS MORNING IS 72 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT. THE SOURDOUGH BOULE YOU PULLED OUT OF THE OVEN EARLIER, HOWEVER, IS CURRENTLY AT A STEADY 98 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT AND SECRETLY DELICIOUS. I SUGGEST YOU REHEAT IT.”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic gold we can extract.

Joke Analysis:

  • Core Concept: The joke hinges on the ambiguity of language and a literal interpretation by the “omniscient” computer. The punchline relies on the client making an assumption about family relations that isn’t necessarily true.
  • Key Elements:
    • Omniscient Computer: The core premise – a machine that supposedly knows everything.
    • Skeptical Client: Creates tension and allows for the setup.
    • Ambiguous Wording: The phrases “father” and “mother’s husband” have different interpretations.
    • Unexpected Twist: The revelation that the client’s mother remarried and that his biological father is alive and well and fishing.
    • Trout: Specificity of the type of fish adds a touch of absurdity.

Factual/Interesting Tidbits to Leverage:

  • Michigan and Fishing: Michigan is known for its Great Lakes and rivers, making it a popular fishing destination. The state is particularly famous for its trout fishing, especially rainbow trout and brown trout. The DNR actually stocks millions of fish annually for recreational fishing.
  • AI and Ambiguity: Current AI models, even advanced ones, can still struggle with context and nuanced language, leading to humorous or nonsensical outputs. AI is trained on data, and if the data lacks diversity or has inherent biases, the AI will reflect those.
  • Trout Species and Size: A five-pound trout is a decent-sized fish. Different species of trout have different average sizes. A five-pound brown trout is impressive, while a five-pound brook trout would be exceptional.

New Comedic Creation (Amusing ‘Did You Know’ Observation):

“You know, that omniscient computer was almost right. It turns out, knowing everything isn’t enough. It also needs to understand family drama, the migratory patterns of divorcees, and the subtle art of lying about the size of your trout. In fact, did you know that statistically, fishermen in Michigan are 37% more likely to exaggerate the size of their catch than those fishing in, say, Nebraska? It’s believed this is because they’re trying to impress the fish with their fishing prowess, even after the fish is caught.”

Explanation of the New Humor:

  • Builds on the original joke: It acknowledges the core premise and highlights the computer’s failure due to human complexities.
  • Leverages a factual element (Michigan fishing): It incorporates the location mentioned in the joke and expands on it.
  • Introduces absurd statistic: The fabricated “37% more likely to exaggerate” statistic adds to the humor. Statistics make things sound plausible, even if they’re made up.
  • Unexpected Explanation: The reason for the exaggeration (“impress the fish”) is ridiculous and nonsensical, amplifying the comedic effect.

This “Did You Know” observation aims to be humorous by:

  • Pointing out the limitations of even the most advanced technology when dealing with human nature.
  • Highlighting the absurdity of common human behaviors, like exaggerating stories.
  • Implying that Michigan fishermen have a unique relationship with the fish they catch.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.
  • The Cowboy and the Horse Thieves
  • What is a mob boss’ favorite element from the periodic table?
  • Three men are stranded on a desert island
  • My friend wrote a murder mystery set in the TARDIS…
  • U.S. Open
  • Breaking News: The founder of /r/jokes is pregnant

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme