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On an RAF station in East Africa in the early 1930s…

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

The Station Commander somehow managed to get hold of a very elderly lion, nearly blind, with hardly a tooth in his head. He called it "Clarence", and with care and gentle management Clarence became quite friendly and rather a pet for everyone on the whole squadron.

One morning a newly-arrived member of the squadron was going up for exercises and noticed the runway was blocked by a familiar-looking shape stretched out in a snooze halfway along it. He tried blipping the throttle a few times but the lion paid no attention, so after a while the pilot got down, jogged up to the animal and yelled "GET OUT OF THE WAY!", reinforcing it with the toe of his well-polished uniform shoe.

The lion opened one eye blearily, gave him an offended look, then lumbered painfully to its feet and slunk off into the long grass.

Landing after half an hour of circuits and bumps, the pilot picked up the nearest phone and called the CO's office. "Sir," he complained, "I wish you'd keep that lion of yours under control. I had to shoo him off the runway before I could take off just now!"

"What the hell are you blathering on about?" responded the CO. "Clarence has been napping under my desk all morning!"

Joke Poo: The Case of the Missing Biscuit

In a bustling retirement home in Boca Raton, a group of residents had grown fond of a particularly lethargic tortoise named “Sheldon.” The staff, with a mix of amusement and patience, allowed Sheldon to roam the common room.

One afternoon, a brand new resident, Mrs. Feinstein, was enjoying tea and a delicious biscotti. She placed her biscotti on the table for a moment, turned to wave at a passing nurse, and when she looked back, the biscotti was gone. She noticed Sheldon nearby, looking suspiciously content. Infuriated, she marched over to the tortoise and, with a tap of her orthopedic shoe, shouted, “SPIT IT OUT, SHELDON! THAT WAS MY BISCOTTI!”

Sheldon blinked slowly, gave her a mournful gaze, and retreated further into his shell.

Later, fuming, Mrs. Feinstein called the activities director’s office. “I demand you control that tortoise! He ate my biscotti! I had to yell at him to move him!”

The activities director sighed wearily. “Mrs. Feinstein, with all due respect, Sheldon hasn’t moved from my desk all afternoon. He’s been busy demolishing a pile of lettuce!”

Alright, let’s dissect this charming vintage joke and then inject some comedic enhancement.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setting: RAF station in East Africa, early 1930s. This provides a context of British colonialism and a certain ‘Boys’ Own’ adventure feel.
  • Key Characters:
    • Clarence the Lion: An elderly, docile lion, a kind of improbable pet. He is a symbol of tamed wildness and a source of camaraderie.
    • The New Pilot: Represents the naive, rule-following newcomer, unaware of the station’s eccentricities.
    • The Station Commander (CO): Embodies the relaxed, slightly absurd, and potentially negligent attitude of the station.
  • Core Conflict: The pilot’s adherence to protocol clashes with the informal, almost comical, co-existence between humans and a lion on the airbase. He believes he shooed away Clarence, unaware of the actual circumstances.
  • Twist: The CO reveals Clarence was under his desk, meaning the pilot shooed away another lion, adding a layer of bewildered danger to the punchline. The humor comes from the pilot’s misidentification and the implication of an even wilder situation than he imagined.
  • Humor Type: Irony, situational comedy, and a touch of absurdism.

Comedic Enrichment/Re-Imagining:

Let’s focus on the idea of the “other” lion. The implication is that there’s a second, even more elusive lion roaming around a RAF base. This allows for some fun speculation.

New Joke/Witty Observation:

“Following the Clarence incident, RAF East Africa implemented a strict ‘Lion Identification Protocol’. Every pilot was issued a pamphlet titled, ‘Lions of the Serengeti: Are You Sure You’re Shouting At Clarence?’. It included a handy flow chart: Does the lion have visible teeth? No -> Probably Clarence. Yes -> Proceed with extreme caution. Is it wearing a tiny RAF cap? Yes -> Definitely Clarence (and someone’s been having too much gin). Is it currently eating Clarence? -> Abandon all hope.”

Amusing ‘Did You Know?’ Fact:

“Did you know that lions, despite their fearsome reputation, can be surprisingly tolerant of humans in certain situations? However, telling the difference between a docile, near-blind lion and a particularly grumpy wild one first thing in the morning is a skill not covered in standard pilot training. In fact, the only reliable method, as discovered by Squadron Leader Bartholomew ‘Barty’ Higgins (posthumously, sadly), is to offer them both a cup of lukewarm tea. Only Clarence appreciates Earl Grey.”

Explanation of the Enrichment:

  • Focus on Specific Elements: The enrichment builds on the key elements identified in the original. We’re playing with the naivete of the pilot, the absurdity of the situation, and the fear of misidentification.
  • Exaggeration and Absurdity: We amplified the original joke’s absurdity. Lion identification protocols and posthumous tea-testing are inherently funny because they are ludicrous attempts to apply logic to a fundamentally illogical situation.
  • Historical Context: The “Earl Grey” reference subtly nods to British culture and reinforces the colonial setting.
  • Play on Expectations: The ‘Did you know’ subverts the expectation of factual information, offering instead a further extension of the original joke’s humor.

By digging into the elements of the original joke and adding factual tidbits (or, in this case, invented ones that sound plausible within the context), we create new humorous content that resonates with the same core humor.

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