Tiptoeing through the living room he suddenly froze when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "Same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
Joke Poo: The Tech Support Request
One slow afternoon, a junior tech support agent was browsing memes when a ticket popped up. He figured it was another password reset, but the subject line read: “The Cloud is Watching Me!”
Chuckling, he opened the ticket. The user, a Miss Agatha Plumtree, had written in frantic all-caps: “MY COMPUTER KEEPS SAYING THE CLOUD IS WATCHING ME! I THINK I’M BEING SPIED ON! HELP!”
Thinking it was a prank, the tech support agent replied: “Okay, Miss Plumtree, can you tell me exactly what you’re seeing?”
A minute later, another message arrived: “EVERY TIME I OPEN MY EMAIL, A LITTLE WINDOW POPS UP AND SAYS ‘ONE DRIVE IS SYNCING YOUR FILES TO THE CLOUD!'”
The tech agent suppressed a groan and typed back: “So, the OneDrive notification is saying that?”
“YES!” Miss Plumtree replied.
Sighing, the agent tried to explain: “That’s just your files being backed up. It’s normal. It’s not spying.”
Miss Plumtree fired back: “So, the ‘cloud’ is the one who named my cat ‘Backup’?”
The tech support agent paused, confused, then replied, “Uh, no, I wouldn’t think so. Why?”
Miss Plumtree responded, “Well, that explains why the mailman screams every morning when my cat chases him and the dog named ‘Firewall’ joins in.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then build something new from its parts!
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Burglar enters a seemingly empty house.
- Rising Tension: A voice (“Jesus is watching you!”) startles the burglar. The repetition amplifies the fear.
- Misdirection/Twist: The source of the voice is revealed to be a parrot named Clarence.
- Punchline: The parrot reveals that the Rottweiler is named “Jesus,” reversing the power dynamic and implying the burglar is in significant danger.
Key Elements:
- Burglar: Represents the “evil” element, expecting an easy score.
- “Jesus is watching you!”: Plays on religious guilt/authority and unexpected warnings.
- Parrot: A common talking bird known for mimicking, creating the initial misdirection.
- Clarence: An unexpectedly mundane name for a parrot, highlighting the absurdity of the situation.
- Rottweiler (named Jesus): The unexpected, violent, and ironically named guardian.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s play on the unexpected naming conventions:
New Joke:
A man walks into a pet store. He’s looking to buy a guard dog.
The owner shows him a massive, imposing Doberman. “This is ‘Sprinkles’,” the owner says proudly. “Sprinkles here will tear any intruder limb from limb.”
The man looks skeptical. “Sprinkles?”
“Yep,” the owner confirms. “Sprinkles is short for ‘Sprinkles of Hellfire’. We find that the name makes the burglars hesitate just long enough.”