One year, for my birthday, my dad took me to one of those restaurants where kids under 10 eat for free. Right before we walked in, he goes, ‘Remember. You’re 9 today.’ I panicked. Ten seconds later, the hostess asks, ‘And how old are you, birthday boy?’ I blurted out, ‘Twelve!’ My dad was so mad.

Joke Poo: Toilet Paper Panic

One year, for my birthday, my mom took me to one of those public restrooms where you have to pay for toilet paper.

Right before we walked in, she goes, “Remember, you only need ONE square.”

I panicked.

Ten seconds later, I’m in a stall and realize I already used my free square. An attendant yells “Next!”. I blurt out “I NEED FIVE MORE!”

My mom was so mad.
Worst birthday poo, ever.

Alright, let’s break down this comedic gem and see what funny nuggets we can mine from it.

Joke Dissection:

• Premise: A father attempts a cheapskate maneuver by having his child lie about their age to get a free meal at a restaurant.
• Setup: The father primes the child for the lie.
• Punchline: The child, in a moment of panicked honesty (or perhaps rebellion disguised as panic), overshoots the lie, claiming to be older than the age that would benefit them, causing the father’s frustration.
• Humor Type: Situational irony, character humor (the dad’s stinginess, the kid’s poor lying skills), cringe humor (the awkwardness of the situation). The escalation of the lie is key to the humour.

Key Elements to Play With:

• The number 9 & 12: the gap between the stated age and the intended age.
• The Father’s Stinginess: This is a rich vein of comedic potential.
• The Child’s Lie/Incompetence: The flawed execution of the lie.
• Restaurant Deals: The absurdity of structuring an entire business around this.
• Birthday Embarrassment: The long-term ramifications.

Comedic Enrichment & New Joke Ideas:

Here are a few options:

1. Witty Observation (Playing with the “9” and “12”):

   “The average 9-year-old can probably tell a more convincing lie than a politician. This kid, clearly, needs to level up to 12, which, ironically, is about the average age of a politician’s sense of shame.”

2. Amusing “Did You Know” Related to Stinginess:

   “Did you know that the Guiness Book of World Records doesn’t have a category for ‘Most Calculated Free Kids’ Meal Scam’? They deemed it too easy to break every day. My dad, naturally, thought that was ‘just a challenge waiting to be accepted.'”

3. New Joke (Extending the Scenario):

   “After the ‘twelve’ incident, my dad made me take an oath of silence whenever we approached a free-anything promotion. We went to a “Free Petting Zoo Day” the next week. Turns out I have an unfortunate allergy to alpacas, and my dad had to choose between a rashy kid, a ruined lie, and a steep benadryl bill. I wish I was making it up.”

4. Alternate Punchline (playing on the long term trauma):

   My dad was so mad, “I’ve never trusted an actuarial table since”.

These expand on the original humor by either adding related information, extending the scenario, or simply commenting on the inherent absurdity of the initial joke. The goal is to amplify the laughter!