Dear Granddaughter,
I just have to tell you about the most profound religious experience I had the other day. After choir practice and a rousing prayer meeting, I headed over to our local Christian bookstore, where I saw a “HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS” sticker. Well, I was feeling especially saucy after church, so I bought the sticker and stuck it on my bumper.
Am I glad that I did! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about our Lord and how great He is, and I hadn’t noticed that the light had changed. And that’s when I learned that lots of people just love Jesus! And it’s a good thing that the guy right behind me also loves Jesus, because if he hadn’t started honking, I’d probably still be there!
Well, he started honking like there’s no tomorrow. As I sat there, bathing in the love, that guy leaned out of his window and started yelling, “SWEET JESUS! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO!! JESUS CHRIST GO! GO! GO!!!”
What a great cheerleader for Jesus! I was so overcome with emotion that I just leaned out the window and waved and smiled at that lover of Jesus. Everybody started to honk! How amazing and uplifting! I started to honk my horn just to share all the love in the air!
One guy in particular back there yelling something about sunny beaches. Sounded like he was from Florida. I waved and smiled at him too.
Another guy was waving at me in a strange way with just his middle finger extended. You know your brother Ralphie was in the back seat, and I had to ask him what that meant. He told me it was a Native American good luck sign.
Well, I don’t know any Native Americans, but as a gesture of love and respect for this brother in Jesus, I leaned out the window and using both hands, showed him the good luck sign. For extra double good luck!!
Well, your brother Ralphie just burst out laughing hysterically. I could not believe that even he was enjoying this grand religious experience!
Well, love was so contagious there that a couple or five people got so caught up in the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I was sure that they were coming over to pray with me or to ask me which church I attended, but then I noticed that the light had changed.
So, waving and smiling at all my new friends in Jesus, I drove through the intersection. I looked back and saw that mine was the only car that made it through the intersection before the light changed again. And after all the love we shared, I felt sad to leave them back there, so one last time, I stopped the car so I could lean out the window and show them all the Native American good luck sign before driving away.
Praise the Lord!
Love,
Grandma
Joke Poo: The IT Upgrade
Our Uncle Barry, bless his heart, is 78 and finally decided to “get with the times.” He emails my nephew:
Dear Nephew,
I just have to tell you about the most amazing tech experience I had yesterday. After my senior citizen’s computer class and a truly enlightening Zoom session with my bridge club, I went to Best Buy. There, I saw a bumper sticker that read, “MY OTHER COMPUTER IS A RACING CAR.” Feeling a bit cheeky, I bought it and slapped it on the back of my minivan.
Well, am I glad I did! I was pulling out of the parking lot, thinking about the wonders of the internet and how fast everything is these days, and I accidentally stalled the minivan. That’s when I learned that lots of people are really into computers!
They started honking like there’s no tomorrow. As I sat there, pondering this unexpected display of enthusiasm, a young man in a souped-up Honda leaned out his window and yelled, “REBOOT! FOR THE LOVE OF SILICON, REBOOT! CTRL-ALT-DELETE!!! DELETE!!! DELETE!!!”
What an incredible tech support community! I was so touched that I leaned out the window and gave him a big wave and smile. Everybody started honking even louder! It was so uplifting! I honked my horn back just to show my appreciation.
One fellow back there was yelling something about “blue screens.” Sounded like he was a software engineer. I waved and smiled at him too.
Another guy was making a strange gesture with his hand – just one finger pointing up. I asked my grandson, Timmy, in the backseat, what it meant. He told me it was a secret hacker salute.
Well, I don’t know any hackers, but as a gesture of respect to this digital native, I leaned out the window and, using both hands, gave him the hacker salute back. For extra digital security!
Well, Timmy just burst out laughing. I couldn’t believe he was so impressed by my tech savviness!
The love was so contagious that several people got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I figured they were coming to offer me their IT expertise or to ask which broadband provider I used. But then I managed to restart the van.
So, waving and smiling at all my new digital friends, I slowly putted away. I looked back and saw they were all gathered around my parking space, apparently downloading something. Feeling bad about leaving them offline, I stopped the van again, leaned out the window, and gave them all the hacker salute one last time before driving off.
Praise the internet!
Love,
Uncle Barry
Alright, let’s break down this hilarious anecdote from Grandma and then cook up some comedic enrichment.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A sweet, elderly grandmother misunderstands social cues after placing a “Honk If You Love Jesus” sticker on her car.
- Key Elements:
- Age/Naivete: Grandma’s advanced age and presumed lack of familiarity with modern expressions.
- Religious Fervor: The “Honk If You Love Jesus” sticker and her enthusiasm after choir practice.
- Misinterpretation: Mistaking aggressive honking and yelling for expressions of religious love and camaraderie.
- Escalation: The situation builds from a missed light to waving, interpreting rude gestures, and stopping traffic repeatedly.
- Irony: The contrast between Grandma’s innocent intentions and the actual frustration she’s causing.
- Ralphie’s Reaction: The grandson’s hysterical laughter confirms the absurdity.
- Middle Finger Misunderstanding: Ralphie jokes with his Grandma about what the gesture means.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the “Honk If You Love Jesus” sticker and the idea of misinterpreting driving signals. I’ll also work with the escalating situation.
New Joke/Observation:
I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Honk if you love peace and quiet.” I laid on the horn for a full minute. Turns out, everyone else just loves filing noise complaints. You know, I thought it would spread the good word about my feelings, but they just yelled “Sweet Buddha Stop!”. Also, Ralphie in the back was having a good laugh.
Amusing “Did You Know”:
Did you know that studies have shown (mostly conducted by people stuck in traffic) that the decibel level of a car horn at close range is comparable to a rock concert? So, technically, when everyone was honking at Grandma, they were just collectively forming an impromptu praise band. It’s just that the setlist was entirely comprised of aggressive, honking free jazz.
Explanation of Enrichment:
- The new joke plays on the same element of misinterpretation as the original. The concept of someone intentionally breaking the silence in order to be left alone is a great oxymoron.
- The “Did You Know” observation adds a layer of absurdity by framing the aggressive honking as a form of worship, albeit an unorthodox and highly disruptive one. The comparison to aggressive, honking free jazz (the kind of music that often sounds like a car crash) adds a bit of extra punch.