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Paddy was looking for work and spotted a job ad for a door-to-door Bible salesman.

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

So he suited up and headed into town.

He walked into the boss’s office and said,
“P-P-Paddy h-h-here to a-a-apply for th-th-the job.”

The boss raised an eyebrow and said,
“Sorry Paddy, I’m not sure this is the right job for you.”

Paddy replied,
“B-b-but y-you haven’t g-given me a ch-ch-chance. That’s d-d-discriminatory!”

The boss shrugged. “Alright, I’ll give you a shot. Here’s 50 Bibles. Let’s see how you do.”

Four hours later, Paddy came back.
“S-s-sold ’em all!”

The boss was shocked. “Incredible! Here’s 100 more!”

Next day at lunch…
“S-s-sold ’em, boss!”

The boss nearly fell off his chair.

“You’re hired, Paddy! Take 200 more and come to our staff meeting on Friday to share your pitch. We need more stock now, thanks to you!”

Friday came, and the boss introduced Paddy:
“Ladies and gents, Paddy sold 350 Bibles in under 3 days! He’s going to tell you his sales technique.”

Paddy stepped up and said,
“Well, I knock on the d-d-door, and w-w-when they a-a-answer, I just ask…

‘D-d-do you want to b-buy a Bible… or d-d-do you want me to r-r-read it to you?’”

Joke Poo: Brian’s Bathroom Boost

Brian was down on his luck and saw an ad for a door-to-door toilet paper salesman.

He figured, “Why not?” and put on his best (slightly stained) shirt.

He walked into the manager’s office and mumbled, “G-G-Gotta g-g-get a j-j-job, m-m-man.”

The manager sighed, “Brian, I don’t think this is for you.”

Brian protested, “G-G-Gotta t-t-try! Discrimination!”

The manager relented. “Fine. Here are 50 rolls. See what you can do.”

Four hours later, Brian returned, triumphant. “S-S-Sold ’em all!”

The manager was amazed. “Unbelievable! Here’s 100 more!”

The next day at lunch… “S-S-Sold ’em!”

The manager was floored. “You’re hired! Take 200 more and tell us your secret sales pitch at the team meeting. We’re backordered because of you!”

Friday arrived, and the manager introduced Brian: “Everyone, Brian sold 350 rolls of toilet paper in two days! He’s going to share his strategy.”

Brian shuffled forward and stammered, “W-Well, I k-k-knock on the d-d-door, and when they o-o-open it, I j-j-just ask…”

“D-Do you need t-toilet p-paper… or do you w-want to explain to me why you don’t?”

Alright, let’s dissect this Paddy joke!

Key Elements:

  • Character: Paddy, an Irish character often portrayed as naive or clever in unexpected ways.
  • Premise: Stuttering individual surprisingly succeeds as a Bible salesman.
  • Humor: The punchline reveals the clever (and slightly threatening) sales tactic that plays on social discomfort and the fear of being preached at.
  • Irony: The job requires communication skills, which Paddy seemingly lacks.

Now, let’s generate some new humor based on this breakdown, using relevant facts:

1. Witty Observation based on fear of being preached at:

“You know, Paddy’s sales technique is genius! It’s like the ancient equivalent of clicking ‘Accept All Cookies’ just to make a website load faster.”

2. A “Did You Know” followed by a Joke:

“Did you know that the best-selling book of all time is generally considered to be the Bible? It’s estimated to have sold between 2.5 billion and 6 billion copies! Which begs the question, what’s Paddy’s commission rate?”

3. New Joke Structure:

Why did Paddy decide to start selling Atheist books instead of Bibles?

He was tired of everyone immediately shutting the door at the first S-S-S-sentence.

Explanation:

  • My New Joke plays on the set up of the original joke.
  • It subverts the premise by making the stutter the reason that he cannot sell the books.
  • In the orginial, his stutter helped his sales through intimidation.
  • I’ve added irony that the Bible, a traditionally religious book, could be seen to be easier to sell that Atheist books.

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