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Ingrown Hairs

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman's dog kept getting ingrown hairs it its ears. Tired of spending money at the vets, she went to a pharmacy and asked the pharmacist what she could do about ingrown…

Wife: What’s the difference between a joke and 2 dlcks?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Husband: What? Wife: I can't take a joke Joke Poo: Boss Battle Blues Boss: What’s the difference between a performance review and a double espresso? Employee: What? Boss: I can’t stand a…

A butcher walks into a lawyer’s office….

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

"How can I help you?" The lawyer asks. "If a dog caused damage to my property, can I charge the owner to repair the damage?" "Of course," "Good. You owe me $40,"…

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

An ambulance! Joke Poo: What do you call a toilet overflowing with chocolate? A Hershey squirt! Alright, let’s dissect this shovel-headed humor! Joke Breakdown: Setup: "What do you call a man with…

How could you do that? He was your blood, was with you the whole time, died in your hands, and you still killed him?!

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Don't make such a fuss about killing a mosquito," said my mom. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: The Unexpected Legacy "How could you do that? He entrusted you with everything, taught…

The water supply dried up on my friend’s farm.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He hired a dowser and was digging all over his property trying find more water. So I sent him a get well soon card. Joke Poo: The Code Supply Dried Up My…

There used to be a joke about Oedipus and Midas, but I can’t remember it

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Which is sad, because it really was motherfucking gold. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Joke Decay," riffing on the Oedipus/Midas joke: Joke Decay There used to be a…

A guy is walking down the street with his little kid when a super hot woman walks by.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The guy blurts out: "Daaamn, what an ass!" The kid hears him and asks, "What did you say, Dad?" Trying to cover it up, the dad panics, "Uh… ash, son. I said…

What do boobs and model trains have in common?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're meant for kids but are primarily played with by grown men. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the boobs and model trains joke: Joke Poo: What do sourdough starters and…

Friend: “I’m poly.”

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Me pulling out a cracker: "You won't believe what I've got for you." Joke Poo: Friend: "I just started composting." Me, excitedly pointing to my dog: "Oh my god, you are not…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me
  • I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.
  • Why did Shakespeare only use quills
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
  • Do the laundry
  • A couple invited their family over for Thanksgiving night to spend the holiday and meal together.
  • Three men are in an airplane. One is the pilot, the other two are a hippie and the someone self described as the world’s smartest man
  • Hi. What’s your name?
  • Guy goes to doctor about a sex addiction problem.
  • So a farmer asks a friend to come over to his place to help him fix his generator.
  • 1 in 4 people admit that they have texted while driving
  • Don’t feel like getting up in the morning to go to work?
  • I like to hibernate during the winter
  • 50 Cent started rapping in 1996
  • Timmy asks his Father how politics work
  • Teacher gift
  • What comes after a sextillion.
  • My son walked in with a rock in his hand
  • My child told me that I was an out of touch old fool.
  • An 89 year old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties.
  • The doctor says I have ADHD
  • A group of third, fourth and fifth graders
  • The secret to a conflictless marriage
  • There is something I don’t understand about 69
  • A Tibetan man, an Indian man, a German man and a Maltese man die and go to purgatory
  • A woman walks into a hospital wheeling her husband with her in a wheelbarrow
  • When do horses eat the most?
  • Confucius say…
  • An infinite line of mathematicians walk into a bar…
  • What was the quiet pooper’s motto?
  • Bartender looking at the client’s empty glass in front of him: “Would you like another one?”
  • What US military branch is the most patriotic?
  • Why is a car ferry like a condom?
  • Knock knock
  • Doing the Laundry (true story)
  • A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemist shop.
  • A software tester walks into a bar.
  • Do you have an acronym for TESLA?
  • The Garden
  • My friend got fired from her job for being a company Whistleblower
  • Something you don’t want to happen upon arriving on an exotic island:
  • Two women talking in a restaurant
  • I went to Whole Foods today, and was really impressed with the variety.
  • I wanted to spice up my love life…
  • Did you hear about the German cannibal?
  • I’m trying to remember the 7 Deadly Sins
  • What do sheep do when Yoda makes them levitate?
  • A woman visits the doctor…
  • Why do carpenters have a reputation for being considerate lovers?
  • Mrs Green? It’s the hospital. Your little boy has been hit by a bus, but don’t worry

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