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This is the speech that JFK gave to Marilyn Monroe on their first night:

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

"We went to my room not because it was easy, we went to my room because it was hard." (I’m a touring comedian, will be in Chicago Sunday if you want to…

Why are aquarium’s so strict?

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

There is always something fishy going on Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: Why are diaper companies always so secretive? Because they’re constantly covering up a whole lot of crap!…

I woke up the other night to the sound of BZZZZ BZZZZ BZZZZ

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

I asked my wife if there was a fly in the room and she said YES! YES! YES! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Title: Diaper…

A man sits down

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man sits down next to an attractive woman at a bus stop and asks her “can I smell your pussy?” She says no and slaps him. He responds “oh it must…

Today I found out that I’m destined to be a lousy parent.

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Social services came and took my inner child. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by your original joke: Joke Poo: Data Dump Today I discovered I’m destined to be…

Baby roach: what happens if they use raid

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Papa roach: suffocation, no breathing Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," playing on the original Roach joke: Joke Poo: Seedling Panic Baby sprout: What happens if they use Roundup? Mama…

The cat and the bird

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

A tree grew in the middle of a garden and on that tree was a branch with a leaf. A worm was looking at the leaf and thinking "if I wait just…

A joke I heard from my friend recently.

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

An English man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man walked into a bar in New York, where the Fantastic 4 where having a drink. The Invisible Woman was…

So an engineer and an antivax want to cross a river full of crododiles

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Fortunately there is a bridge. The antivax asks how safe is the bridge. The engineer answers "around 99.6 percent". The antivax says "ONLY !? NO WAY, I'M SWIMMING !!" Okay, here’s a…

There was this old country fella ridin’ into town on his horse.

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

He makes it to the town square, and right there by the church door stands the pastor. The pastor says, — “Well now, Earl, haven’t seen you in church for a while.”…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.

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