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A blonde moment.

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day a blonde came home from school, excited, and said to her mother, “Hey, Mom! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but…

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you in. Our casino has a very strict dress code, and you don’t have a tie.”

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

“But that gentleman over there is completely naked.” “Yes, but he’s leaving.” Joke Poo: The Compost Heap “I’m sorry, madam, but I can’t deliver this compost. Our delivery service has a very…

What state describes Venus and Serena Williams?

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Tennessee Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo," riffing on the original with a new angle: Joke Poo: What kind of garbage describes a depressed mime? … Silentium. Alright, let’s dissect this tennis-themed pun!…

I am Calm

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

As he pushes his wailing child through the supermarket, a young father repeats softly, “Don’t get excited, Josh … Don’t scream, Josh … Keep calm, Josh.” A fellow shopper, impressed by the…

A guy was convicted of using too many commas

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

The judge gave him a long sentence Joke Poo: Title: The Dog Walker’s Dilemma A dog walker was fined heavily for leaving too much dog poo on the sidewalk. The judge gave…

Two guys are talking…

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two good friends, Dave and Brian were talking one evening. Dave mentioned he’s been reading a lot lately. So Brian asked “Oh yeah? What’s your favorite book?”. “50 Shades of Grey, no…

My dad always said

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

My dad always said, "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes." That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. Okay, here’s my…

If you don’t think there’s more than one way to say a cow is approaching…

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Well then you've got an udder thing comin' Okay, here’s the original joke and then my "Joke Poo" version: Original Joke: "If you don’t think there’s more than one way to say…

What does a German order in a cocktail bar?

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Gin and Teutonic. Joke Poo: Title: Stool Sample Joke: What does a microbiologist order at a coffee shop? A fecal latte. Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then spice it up! Joke…

To the guy who invented zero…

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Thanks for nothing. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" riffing on the zero joke: Title: Joke Poo To the person who invented those automatic hand dryers in public restrooms… Thanks…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • It was five o’clock, and the shift at the coal mine was over
  • A man doesn’t know the meaning of true happiness until he gets married.
  • “I’ve been talking to supernatural entities for years, and they are trying to seduce me,” I told my doctor.
  • When we were first married my wife had the body of a supermodel
  • A redneck goes to the doctor for a physical. “I need stool sample, a urine sample, and a sperm sample,” says the doctor.
  • Omar Epps moved nextdoor to Chris Hemsworth.
  • A drunk man is refused service at a bar, so he tries to sneak in through different doors
  • Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I’ve been with a loose girl.
  • Bubba and Billy Bob were known for having below average IQ around Little Rock.
  • Son: “Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin.”
  • My husband and i have a secret to making our marriage last.
  • A Proctologist Goes To The Grocery
  • A boy tells his father: “Dad, I have such a strong desire to live forever. What should I do?”
  • Confucius say baseball wrong.
  • The wrestler
  • God some people have no shame. Just got on a bus with 20 people in fetish costumes.
  • Why did the chicken go to the seance?
  • I went into my local bakery to buy a cake…
  • A wealthy real estate investor is looking to buy more land for development, but a local farmer won’t sell the last plot he needs
  • I found my absolute favorite machine at the gym today.
  • What do you call it when a boy finally claps back with a really good dad joke to his own dad?
  • Ma and Pa were two old folks living out on a farm up in the hills.
  • Why did the fat emu feel left out?
  • Adam a new recruit
  • A guy walks into a bar and orders a martini.
  • Had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector today.
  • Today I went to the optician. They said I am colorblind.
  • After sex last night my girlfriend said “your easily the biggest I’ve ever had.”.
  • My wife started doing black magic on dolls. I said, “This is nonsense.”
  • Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was.
  • A young family moved into the house next door to a vacant lot.
  • What do you do when you’re attacked by a gang of circus performers?
  • What has 9 hands and sucks?
  • I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes…..
  • An animal control official knocks on a man’s door
  • I had a weird living tree-guy do the tile for my bathroom.
  • A friar is like a monk, except that he’s not confined to a monastery.
  • My school got raided
  • What do you call it when cows masturbate?
  • A man is trying to remember the name of a restaurant from his childhood, so he visits his elderly father.
  • An Irish man walks into a bar
  • What did the porn star have for lunch?
  • One year, for my birthday, my dad took me to one of those restaurants where kids under 10 eat for free. Right before we walked in, he goes, ‘Remember. You’re 9 today.’ I panicked. Ten seconds later, the hostess asks, ‘And how old are you, birthday boy?’ I blurted out, ‘Twelve!’ My dad was so mad.
  • People are now talking about the missing minute from the security camera.
  • The husband leans over and asks his wife…
  • What do ghosts use to get rid of wrinkles?
  • When I see you, I want you to feel something in your stomach,
  • After disputing the area of my land my neighbour stole my posts and knocked down my wall
  • “What do you want for birthday?” My girlfriend asked
  • I worked on that “old” joke from earlier and I also read a lot of the comments, and so I came up with this. I was hoping it that it was a little funnier to read.:

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