A man was sitting on a bus next to a woman who was trying to breastfeed her baby. The baby was fussy and refused to eat. Growing frustrated, the mother warned the…
A guy tells his buddy, “So my neighbor came over earlier and accused me of stealing her clothes from her clothesline.”
"Well, what happened?" his buddy asks. And the guy says, "I practically shit her pants." Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” take on the original: Joke Poo: The Linguist A linguist tells his…
Little Johnny, just past his fifth birthday, sits silently at breakfast with his mom and dad, as always—never having spoken a word.
His mom sets down his bowl of oatmeal. Johnny takes a bite, then suddenly slams his spoon down and yells, "THIS OATMEAL SUCKS!" His parents freeze, absolutely stunned. His mom gasps, "Johnny!…
A castaway has been stranded on a deserted island for ten years. One day a ship finally sails past the island and the castaway flags it down. The ship pulls into the cove, the castaway hops on board, and the ship heads back out to sea.
On the way out of the cove the captain says to the castaway, "Hey, I see three beautiful huts near the beach. What are they for?" The castaway says, "Well, the one…
Mom, don’t get alarmed, but I’m at the hospital.
"Son, please. You've been a surgeon there for 8 years now. Can we start our phone calls differently?" Okay, here’s a new joke, “Joke Poo”, based on your original, attempting to maintain…
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.
The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice…
Little Kate (on phone): My daughter is having high fever and sadly she won’t be able to come to school today!
Teacher: Who is this? Little Kate: This is my mother speaking! Joke Poo: Corporate Drone Bob (on video conference): My intern is experiencing extreme burnout and crippling existential dread, so unfortunately, they…
Mathematicians have stopped looking for a 2-sided polygon.
They decided they should let bigons be bygones. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the math joke, aiming for a similar structure and pun-based humor: Joke Poo: Programmers Have Given Up…
A man comes home from work to find his dishwasher has leaked water all over his kitchen floor.
He mops up the water and takes the dishwasher out, but just to get any remaining moisture out of the floor, he brings up a dehumidifier. The dehumidifier is old and the…
Knock knock joke for Halloween
Knock knock Who's there? Ow. Ow who? Werewolves of London. Owhoooooooo! Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the werewolf knock-knock joke: Joke Poo: Haunted House Edition Knock knock. Who’s there? Igor….