Tiptoeing through the living room he suddenly froze when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again "Jesus is…
Little Johnny, annoyed by all the rules he has to follow in the house, goes to his dad.
"Dad, I'm 10, but still have to get permission to leave the house, to stay out late with my friends, to skip school, to eat what I want, to buy what I…
Two lawyers walk into a bar/restaurant, order a couple of drinks, and then take out sandwiches from their briefcases.
The bartender sees this, and goes: “Sorry, guys, but you can’t eat your own food in here.” The lawyers looked at each other, shrugged, and then swapped the sandwiches. Joke Poo: The…
A woman asked an army general when he’d last made love
The general thought for a moment and said, "1956." She gasped. "That long? Come with me — I'll make your night better." They went back to her apartment and made passionate love…
The whole family are having breakfast together when, the grandson looks over at his 22 year old sexy newlywed wife and asks her, “Will you pass the honey, honey?” She giggles and passes the honey.
His father, not to be outdone, looks over to his beautiful wife and asks, "Will you pass the sugar, sugar?" She laughs, "Your still a charmer," and passes the sugar. The grandfather…
A chemist walks into his shop and sees a man leaning against the wall.
“What’s wrong with him?” he asks his assistant. “He came in for cough syrup,” the assistant explains. “But I couldn’t find any, so I sold him some laxatives instead.” “What?! You can’t…
It’s wild how many people I see on their phones while driving.
Anyway, sorry if I’m swerving, autocorrect’s being weird. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing off the original: Joke Poo: Squirrel Swerve It’s amazing the sheer number of squirrels I…
An unemployed actor gets a call from his friend.
"Listen, I found a small gig, and I immediately thought of you." The actor is ecstatic. "Of course, man! I'm eternally grateful, I'm completely broke. What's the part?" "Well, it's… not big….
And With That, the Dinosaurs Took Themselves into Extinction
Three big-ole dinosaurs are racing across the desert when they stumble upon a magic lamp. Upon activating it a genie poofs into existence before them. "I have three wishes, and there are…
What do you say when you discover your girlfriend Shirley dresses up in medieval clothes and works at the Renaissance fair?
Shirley! You jest? Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of the Shirley joke, titled “Maisy’s Modifiers”: Title: Maisy’s Modifiers What do you say when you find out your friend Maisy…