Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. When the villagers…
How do you get a sweet little old lady to say “Fuck”
Get another sweet little old lady to say “Bingo!” Okay, I understand. Here’s my attempt, "Joke Poo," riffing on the original joke: Joke Poo: The Algorithm How do you get a highly…
Heisenberg gets stopped for speeding.
The cop tells him he was doing 92mph. Heisenberg says "Great, now I'm lost." (Apologies if this has been posted before. It's not a new one!) Joke Poo: Schrödinger’s Speeding Ticket A…
I have a pet termite. I named him Clint.
Clint eats wood. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your termite joke, titled as requested: Joke Poo: I have a pet cloud. I named him Gary. Gary cries…
My girlfriend used to punch me in the face when she had an orgasm.
I didn't mind much until I found out she was faking them. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of that joke, titled "Doggy Disappointment": Joke Poo: Doggy Disappointment My…
A Spanish magician tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of three.
He says uno, dos, and * poof * disappears without a tres. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the magician joke: Joke Poo: The Forgetful Gardener An elderly…
A man visits a farm. He goes into a field and sees a bull grazing. The bull stares at him and pushes his paws off the ground, like he’s about to charge.
The man, a bit nervous asks the farmer nearby, "Hey mister, is the bull safe?". The farmer says "The bull is perfectly safe. Not so sure about you though". Joke Poo: The…
A blonde moment.
One day a blonde came home from school, excited, and said to her mother, “Hey, Mom! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but…
“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you in. Our casino has a very strict dress code, and you don’t have a tie.”
“But that gentleman over there is completely naked.” “Yes, but he’s leaving.” Joke Poo: The Compost Heap “I’m sorry, madam, but I can’t deliver this compost. Our delivery service has a very…
What state describes Venus and Serena Williams?
Tennessee Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo," riffing on the original with a new angle: Joke Poo: What kind of garbage describes a depressed mime? … Silentium. Alright, let’s dissect this tennis-themed pun!…