Alien Commander: “Humans! After centuries of observation, we’ve concluded that humor is the highest form of intelligence. Judging by your endless reposts on r/Jokes… your species has failed. Total eradication begins unless…
I was awaken with oral sex this morning!
I learned not to fall asleep with the mouth open on the train. Joke Poo: Joke Fertilizer I woke up covered in fertilizer this morning! …I learned not to fall asleep face-first…
Wife: This vacuum is broken, it quit sucking
Husband: It must've gotten married. Joke Poo: Original Joke: Wife: This vacuum is broken, it quit sucking. Husband: It must’ve gotten married. New Joke (Joke Poo): Therapist: My ventriloquist dummy has stopped…
A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday. “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”
I said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his back…
Canadians in Australia
A couple of gals from Canada decide to travel to Australia over the winter to get a break from 40 below, ice and snow. They're sitting at a club in Perth, enjoying…
A man walks into a bar for a drink.
The bartender hands him a shot and says, "That's the Spirit!". Okay, here’s my attempt at "Joke Poo" based on your prompt: Joke Poo: The Compost Heap A gardener is meticulously tending…
I have a special testicle
It’s a specticle Okay, I’ll take that joke and try to rework it while keeping the punchy, slightly absurd structure. Original Joke: I have a special testicle. It’s a specticle. Joke Poo:…
I found out today that tree surgeons refuse to trim hedges
Apparently it's beneath them Okay, here’s my attempt at "Joke Poo," riffing on your tree surgeon joke: Joke Poo: Plumbing Pride I learned that master plumbers won’t unclog shower drains… Apparently, they…
Geologist decided to quit his job…
His company was taking him for granite Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the geologist joke: Joke Poo: Plumber’s Lament A plumber decided to take an early retirement… His boss was…
There was a farmer who hated aphids destroying crops
He yelled “go fuck yourselves” and they grew in numbers Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the farmer and aphids joke: Joke Poo: The Complimenting Compost There was a gardener who…