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When I woke up this morning, my wife was cooking breakfast in nothing but a T-shirt…

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

When she saw me, she said she needed me to have sex with her right now. I was surprised but happy to oblige. After I asked what that was all about. She…

The son of a Texas oilman

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

falls in love with a high-society girl from Boston, and after a short time, proposes marriage. As the oilman meets the girl's mother for the first time, it's obvious she's unimpressed. As…

A man was sitting at the bar looking dejectedly into his bottle of beer.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

“You look pretty down,” said the guy on the next stool. “Wanna talk about it?” “I dunno,” sighed the first man. “It’s just that this time last year I had a fantastic…

Did you know Albert Einstein was a real person? (2nd punchline OC)

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I only just found out. I always thought he was just a "theoretical physicist". But nah, turns out he was a genuine maths debator Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo"…

Postman goes to his doctor…

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

"so Doctor what's the prognosis?" "Do, you want the good, or bad news?" "Bad" "You have only six months to live" "What's the good!!?" "You've got A job for life." Joke Poo:…

I have a hymen joke.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

It’s tearable. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," riffing on the original: Joke Poo: The Compost Conundrum I have a composting joke. It’s re-cycle-able. Okay, let’s break down this joke…

Dear British redditors, what’s the difference between the dollar and the pound?

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I didn’t take your mom to dollar town. Okay, here’s my attempt, playing off the original joke’s format and delivery: Joke Poo: Dear NASA Scientists Dear NASA scientists, what’s the difference between…

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because he can. Because he can't make a fist. Joke Poo: Original Joke: Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can’t make a fist. Joke Poo: Why does a politician…

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 19 y/o daughter.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the…

I was bored yesterday so….

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I looked up the numbers to local Best Western Hotels. I would call them and when they answered “Best Western” I’d say….”True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up. Joke Poo: Call…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A woman calls the cops about her neighbour.
  • My wife walks out of the shower, winks at me and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?”
  • Due to a recent surge in mining activities, the logistical network has been overwhelmed in my area.
  • Which movie actor also knows how to code?
  • Bridget Jones is to be celebrated with a new 200kg statue in London’s Leicester Square…
  • The legend of Uncle Marvo (the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee)
  • Just watching Alien vs Predator…
  • Did you hear about the clown that caused a blackout?
  • Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs visit the Vatican for a blessing.
  • Nowadays pennies taste horrible. Back in the day they used to taste almost like toothpaste to me…
  • A radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, so it’s kinda weird that the town in the movie Cars is called “Radiator Springs”
  • How is Michael Jackson like Caviar?
  • I made a helpful suggestion about my wife’s donation bag
  • As a person with epilepsy what do i call an Ambulance?
  • I got complimented on my parking today
  • NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens.
  • A physicist is walking past a building…
  • A mistress is like a grenade.
  • Sorry Alliens
  • The Skinny Lumberjack
  • What’s the difference between a manly lesbian and a really short guy who works in the meat department?
  • I was thinking about having dinner at a family style restaurant by myself.
  • I made a helpful suggestion about my wife’s donation bag
  • A family goes on vacation to the beach in southern Mexico.
  • What’s a popular 60s pop duo with many Muslim?
  • A man adopts a stray dog.
  • An alcoholic read an article on the dangers of drinking alcohol and decided it was finally time to quit…
  • The wife is calling her husband at work.
  • Sue went to the cemetery every day to water the flowers on the grave of her late husband, Bob.
  • A guy’s wife comes into the room and says to her husband, “What the hell are you doing? I thought you were going to fix the sink!”
  • What do you call a photo of an old person?
  • Why are math books always so stressed?
  • Nobody came to my cocktail party
  • I just ran into a guy quoting V for Vendetta. You know, the whole “remember, remember the fifth of November,” speech. And I could help but think…
  • I just bought a 5 foot tall flightless bird for $3
  • Wife says that I’m cheap
  • I just got accused of mansplaining!
  • We were desperate to fix our son’s failing math grade.
  • A couple, both 78, went to see a therapist.
  • What did the vampires mother say when he told her he wanted to marry a werewolf?
  • Being an alcoholic is gambling with your life.
  • I failed the fire safety quiz at work earlier…
  • A truck carrying a penis for transplant swerved and fell into a hole
  • A dentist who lives down the street from me got busted for dealing drugs.
  • Cheney, about Mamdani:
  • At a poetry competition, there were two finalists!
  • The Riverside High
  • Two nuns, Bridget and Theresa, were on their bikes heading back to the convent in Dublin one night.
  • Strange but true: When you see ducks flying south in a ‘V’ formation, why is one line always longer than the other?

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