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My wife hates that I’m always making urination jokes. She said she feels like her opinion doesn’t matter to me.

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told her she's number one. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” titled Compulsive Compost: Compulsive Compost My husband hates that I’m always making jokes about composting. He says he…

(Long) I was in the garage working on my car when my girlfriend walked in with her new puppy.

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

We began making plans for later that day. Unbeknownst to us, her puppy walked over to a small bowl full of gasoline. By the time we realized what was happening, the little…

“Seeds are the best!!” “Oh really? Says who??”

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

“SESAME!” Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on the original: Title: Exam Stress Poo “Studying all night is the best!!” “Oh really? Says who??” “PROCRASTINATORS!!” Alright, let’s dive into the comedic seedbed…

Did you hear about the Rainbow Criminal?

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was sentenced to prism but it was a light sentence. It will give him time to reflect. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your rainbow criminal joke,…

Brain cancer is the easiest disease to cure

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

Just remind yourself that it’s all in your head Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the brain cancer joke, while trying to keep a similar structure and twist:…

Who is smarter?

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

Put eight horses in a race and 30,000 people will go to see it. But put eight people in a race and not one horse will bother to go along to watch….

Why didn’t the skeleton go trick-or-treating?

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

No body to go with. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your skeleton joke: Title: Joke Poo Why didn’t the toilet paper go to the picnic? …It got…

America vs England

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Where's your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain. "I ain't got one, Sir." "You're in England now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I…

What spice makes you happy when you use it?

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

care-away seed Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your seed: Joke Poo: What material makes the best diapers for a mime? Silents and absorbent material. Alright, let’s break…

Train tracks are like nipples.

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

The third one will shock you Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the train track joke, aiming for a similar structure and surprise: Joke Poo: Internet Routers are…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Where does Billy Joel perform when he’s in Beijing?
  • NYC bars
  • I was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield that day!
  • And now a word from our sponsor, Royer & Associates Shipbuilding Inc.
  • My therapist thought I was a communist
  • A tourist is hiking through the Scottish Highlands and stops to take a drink from a stream.
  • A man walks home from work.
  • Everyone at the autopsy club is excited
  • What do you say to a gross sheep? Ewwwwwwe
  • What should you prepare in case of trick-or-treating cats?
  • Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
  • Famous last words…
  • Every night, this guy would stumble home blind drunk and lose his dinner right there in the kitchen sink.
  • Everyone told Beethoven he would never be a composer because he was deaf.
  • A lion was walking through the savanna. He comes across a boar.
  • I don’t want to brag, but I made 6 figures last year
  • A giraffe was walking through the jungle…
  • What do you call a duck that graduates at the top of its class?
  • An Englishman goes to a Chinese tailor
  • When Beethoven passed away
  • My wife hates that I’m always making urination jokes. She said she feels like her opinion doesn’t matter to me.
  • (Long) I was in the garage working on my car when my girlfriend walked in with her new puppy.
  • “Seeds are the best!!” “Oh really? Says who??”
  • Did you hear about the Rainbow Criminal?
  • Brain cancer is the easiest disease to cure
  • Who is smarter?
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go trick-or-treating?
  • America vs England
  • What spice makes you happy when you use it?
  • Train tracks are like nipples.
  • Tarzan and Jane
  • A kilted Scotsman was walking home from a pub one morning after a night of whisky. He collapses by the roadside for a nap.
  • Recently a guy in our friends group came out as being a car-philiac.
  • A guy is rushed to the hospital and plugged into life support.
  • A businessman goes on a business trip to Japan
  • A Texan is in Boston
  • A son in love confides in his father
  • Scientists have determined that human breast milk is the perfect food.
  • My Girlfriend yelled at me, “Stop it with all your corny jokes”
  • Three men check into a hotel and ask for rooms with balconies.
  • An African prince comes to the USA and meets a beautiful woman.
  • Once upon a time there was a lake shaped like a triangle with one long side, one short side, and one middle side. On each side of the lake was a different kingdom
  • Did you hear the one about the mean teacher in dental school?
  • Difference between Guts and Balls
  • What do you call sex toys made from folded paper?
  • Being in love is like shitting in your pants…
  • My ex dumped me after I lost part of my foot to frostbite.
  • Golf Wife
  • An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese man are hired for the morning shift at a deep coal mine.
  • My girlfriend changed a lot after she became vegan.

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