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My wife gets mad when I kill a bug

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Do you know how hard it is to make it look like a bug committed suicide? Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the bug suicide joke, titled… Joke…

My roommates think our house is haunted.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

They have really been freaking out and are scared of "the ghost" all the time. I think it's all in their imagination. That's because I've lived here over 240 years and I've…

They missed an opportunity when they invented the mammogram machine

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

By not calling it a booby trap. Okay, I can do that. Here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: They Flushed It All Away They really dropped the ball when they invented the self-flushing…

A friend asked me how I feel about nudity

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said that personally, it always left me cold Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: The Dog Park Dilemma A new dog owner asked…

You can see the blood flowing in your veins

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

if you look varicosely Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the vein joke, titled "Joke Poo: Milky Way." Joke Poo: Milky Way You can see the stars in…

Poor Marcello

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Marcello, having reached the age of 65, starts to worry about death. To live longer, he joins a gym and begins a strict diet. After six months, he's feeling better, has lost…

I was charged with a hate crime after beating up a guy who didn’t pay me after losing a sports bet

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

We were betting on Formula One so the prosecutor argued I was motivated by race. Joke Poo: The Misunderstood Mudman I was arrested for assault after tackling a guy who refused to…

I Googled the signs and symptoms of dementia.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Why are all the links purple? Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" of that dementia joke, titled "Toilet Troubles": Toilet Troubles I plunged the toilet and now the bathroom floor…

Shaggy God story

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A grandmother wants to take her grandson to the beach. The child’s mother, is worried the old woman will not be attentive to the child…”please” the grandmother begs “I’ve even bought him…

My neighbors banged on my door at 3:30 am last night.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Luckily, I was still up,playing my guitar. They shouted "how about a little respect?" I said, "honestly I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan, but okay. This one's for you!" Original Joke:…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Am I the first person you have ever slept with?
  • Describe your love life in two words.
  • Cop understood the assignment.
  • Doctor, help me. I’m addicted to buying yachts. Is there something you can give me for it?
  • Teacher and her 3 boy students:
  • The woman I’m sleeping with keeps telling me I don’t need to be intimidated by the size of her ex’s dick
  • As we drove past some black and white cows my dad said “wow, it must be really cold out there…
  • Last year I bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas…
  • I’m starting a research project into bestiality
  • I’m over 40 years old and I’ve never used essential oils…
  • I don’t know why everyone thinks of mobsters as bad guys.
  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married
  • If Waldo turned into a monster which one would he turn into?
  • How do you know if a ghost has been using your bathroom?
  • Why does everyone know the Muffin Man but not the Muffin Woman?

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