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Local Idiot 1: “Does it hurt to get a tattoo?”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Local Idiot 2: "Depends on the location." Local Idiot 1: "I'm in Oklahoma." Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the tattoo joke: Joke Poo: Corporate Speak Intern 1:…

Yoda once said “Do, or do not. There is no try”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was a great Jedi, but a terrible Rugby referee. Joke Poo: The Sphinx’s Sniff The Sphinx once declared, "Riddle me this: What has an eye, but cannot see?" He was a…

I put my cat on a vegan diet.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

One vegan a day is enough for her. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by your cat/vegan joke: Joke Poo: The Accountant’s Investment I put my accountant on a…

A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

He said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on a machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull…

A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor considered his question for a moment, and then began to tell a story: “I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day, he…

My patient asked, “Doctor, will i be alright?”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, Let's see, mercury is in uranus right now. He said, I am not in this astrology stuff. Me: Me neither, my thermometer just broke. Joke Poo: The Plumber’s Horoscope My…

One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little Suzie told about her trip to Florida. Clyde said his dad got drunk all the time. Little Johnny put a dot on the board and the teacher asked him to explain…

In a small town there was a couple, known for being unafraid to express their love in a simple action.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man and his wife were deeply in love, always holding hands, on the couch, on the bed, in public and in private. They expressed their feelings through this simple action for…

These tropical birds stole my beer…

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two cans. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: These Garden Gnomes Stole My Sausage These garden gnomes stole my sausage… Two links. Okay, let’s analyze this joke:…

The Sentence

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

An 80 year old man is brought before the court for shoplifting. This was his third offense and the sentencing guidelines called for a sentence of 15 to 20 years. The judge…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • As we drove past some black and white cows my dad said “wow, it must be really cold out there…
  • Last year I bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas…
  • I’m starting a research project into bestiality
  • I’m over 40 years old and I’ve never used essential oils…
  • I don’t know why everyone thinks of mobsters as bad guys.
  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married
  • If Waldo turned into a monster which one would he turn into?
  • How do you know if a ghost has been using your bathroom?
  • Why does everyone know the Muffin Man but not the Muffin Woman?
  • A shy Italian girl gets married
  • a stoner, a jedi and emergency room surgeon walk into a bar
  • I bought a Hustler magazine and boy was I disappointed
  • What’s a debt collector’s favourite herb?
  • What’s the most negative month of the year?
  • A Man Is Invited To A Christmas Fancy Dress Party

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