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A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Yes, my husband,” she says. Relieved, the man asks, “Are you happier than when you were with me?” “Yes, my husband,” she replies, “I’m much, much happier.” The husband smiles. “Heaven must…

New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's not even on the map! Okay, here’s the original joke: New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war because it’s not even on the map! And here’s…

A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The clerk says, "Absolutely not, we're very respectful of the Jewish community." Joke Poo: A Programmer’s Predicament A programmer walks into a therapist’s office and asks, "Do you have any debugging techniques…

I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

It was a huge waist of time. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: The Diaper Genie’s Lament I spent a whole month coding a smart sensor that automatically composes haikus based on…

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

It didn't. It got ran over. Joke Poo: Why Did the Landlord Cross the Line? He didn’t. He just raised the rent across the line. Alright, let’s break down this morbid twist…

Knock knock

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Who's there? Do you want two CDs. Do I want two CDs who? Do you want two CDs nuts? (Do you want to see Deez Nuts?) Okay, here’s my attempt at a…

Charley Pride was a legendary musician

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

But I don't understand why he gets a whole month Okay, here’s a "Joke Poo" riffing on the Charley Pride joke: Joke Poo: The Toilet Paper Conundrum Title: Andrex Appreciation Month Andrex…

Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

The following day I wish her a Happy After-birthday and she calls me a sick bastard. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Data’s Delicate Dance": Title: Data’s Delicate Dance…

I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

I’m sticking to my guns! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" riffing on the original glue-on-hands joke: Title: Joke Poo – Fiber Optic Follies I’m going to spend all day…

Why did Shakespeare only use quills

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Pencils confused him.2B or not 2B Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your Shakespeare joke: Joke Poo: Why Did Dr. Frankenstein Struggle with Plumbing? He kept asking if…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married
  • If Waldo turned into a monster which one would he turn into?
  • How do you know if a ghost has been using your bathroom?
  • Why does everyone know the Muffin Man but not the Muffin Woman?
  • A shy Italian girl gets married
  • a stoner, a jedi and emergency room surgeon walk into a bar
  • I bought a Hustler magazine and boy was I disappointed
  • What’s a debt collector’s favourite herb?
  • What’s the most negative month of the year?
  • A Man Is Invited To A Christmas Fancy Dress Party
  • You can’t trust people on Halloween anymore!
  • What did the Catholic priest say to his disciple?
  • The other day an old guy called about an Australian stick.
  • The Queen, the Pope and Nelson Mandela walk into a bar
  • Good Christians should never use euphemisms for the toilet
  • I went for a swim in France on a blowy day.

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