There's a ton of these. Which ones have you heard? I'll go first. Confucius say… …man who go through airport door sideways, always going to Bangkok. …man who go up hill with…
An infinite line of mathematicians walk into a bar…
The first one orders a beer. The second orders 1/2 a beer. The third one orders 1/4 a beer. The bartender quickly catches on, pours two beers and says "You guys need…
What was the quiet pooper’s motto?
“I put the shhhhh in shit” Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: What Was the Forgetful Gardener’s Motto? What was the forgetful gardener’s motto? "I put the whoops in crops!" Okay, let’s…
Bartender looking at the client’s empty glass in front of him: “Would you like another one?”
“Why would I need another empty glass?”, responded the client. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, titled: Joke Poo: Programmer’s Predicament Tech Support looking at the programmer’s crashing code on the screen:…
What US military branch is the most patriotic?
Air Force. Cause they're USAF! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the original joke, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: What kind of dog makes the best secret agent?…
Why is a car ferry like a condom?
Roll-on, roll-off, full of seamen and if you get a hole in one, you're sunk. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on that one, maintaining a similar structure and…
Knock knock
Who's there? Amos Amos who? A mosquito. Knock knock Who's there? Anna Anna who? Another mosquito. Knock knock Who's there? Yeti Yeti who? Yet another mosquito. Knock knock Who's there? Helen Helen…
Doing the Laundry (true story)
My wife and I take turns doing the laundry. We separate light from colors, cold from warm wash, all that, like most people do. I had put some laundry in and had…
A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemist shop.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The…
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar. Crawls into a bar. Dances into a bar. Flies into a bar. Jumps into a bar. And orders: a beer. 2 beers. 0 beers. 99999999 beers. a lizard…