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Wife: What’s the difference between a joke and 2 dlcks?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Husband: What? Wife: I can't take a joke Joke Poo: Boss Battle Blues Boss: What’s the difference between a performance review and a double espresso? Employee: What? Boss: I can’t stand a…

A butcher walks into a lawyer’s office….

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

"How can I help you?" The lawyer asks. "If a dog caused damage to my property, can I charge the owner to repair the damage?" "Of course," "Good. You owe me $40,"…

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

An ambulance! Joke Poo: What do you call a toilet overflowing with chocolate? A Hershey squirt! Alright, let’s dissect this shovel-headed humor! Joke Breakdown: Setup: "What do you call a man with…

How could you do that? He was your blood, was with you the whole time, died in your hands, and you still killed him?!

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Don't make such a fuss about killing a mosquito," said my mom. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: The Unexpected Legacy "How could you do that? He entrusted you with everything, taught…

The water supply dried up on my friend’s farm.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He hired a dowser and was digging all over his property trying find more water. So I sent him a get well soon card. Joke Poo: The Code Supply Dried Up My…

There used to be a joke about Oedipus and Midas, but I can’t remember it

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Which is sad, because it really was motherfucking gold. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Joke Decay," riffing on the Oedipus/Midas joke: Joke Decay There used to be a…

A guy is walking down the street with his little kid when a super hot woman walks by.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The guy blurts out: "Daaamn, what an ass!" The kid hears him and asks, "What did you say, Dad?" Trying to cover it up, the dad panics, "Uh… ash, son. I said…

What do boobs and model trains have in common?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're meant for kids but are primarily played with by grown men. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the boobs and model trains joke: Joke Poo: What do sourdough starters and…

Friend: “I’m poly.”

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Me pulling out a cracker: "You won't believe what I've got for you." Joke Poo: Friend: "I just started composting." Me, excitedly pointing to my dog: "Oh my god, you are not…

A wise man once said: never lie to your wife

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because she only asks when she already knows the answer! Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: The Algorithm Knows A seasoned coder once told his protégé: never…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A shy Italian girl gets married
  • a stoner, a jedi and emergency room surgeon walk into a bar
  • I bought a Hustler magazine and boy was I disappointed
  • What’s a debt collector’s favourite herb?
  • What’s the most negative month of the year?
  • A Man Is Invited To A Christmas Fancy Dress Party
  • You can’t trust people on Halloween anymore!
  • What did the Catholic priest say to his disciple?
  • The other day an old guy called about an Australian stick.
  • The Queen, the Pope and Nelson Mandela walk into a bar
  • Good Christians should never use euphemisms for the toilet
  • I went for a swim in France on a blowy day.
  • My masochist girlfriend said, “Choke me!”
  • Ever wondered which service has the toughest troops?
  • A doctor comes into the room, shaking his head at the clipboard in his hands, and tells the patient they’re being moved to the east wing.
  • What do you call a ghosts poop?
  • I just brought a 2nd hand book about pasta.
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
  • What dance did the cheese do at the Halloween party?
  • What happens when you’re late for a bris?
  • I’m getting tired of these trick or treaters this evening….
  • Patient: “Doctor! My stool is never solid!”
  • A truck carrying several rhesus moneys overturned.
  • The teacher said, “Steven why don’t you tell the rest of the class something you’re not very good at that begins with the letter N,”
  • Plumber at work
  • What do hillbillies do for Halloween?
  • Driving through the hills of Arkansas I noticed a large herd of cows grazing on a steep hillside pasture and thought
  • I was gonna tell a joke, but um…
  • Graveyard calling
  • What’s the easiest way to get in touch with your inner self??
  • For Halloween this year, I’m wearing pasties and a G-string
  • The singer in Roxette wouldn’t tell me her tennis score…
  • A detective rings the doorbell of an English mansion.
  • I asked my doctor about my prostate health and they gave me thumbs up
  • A  man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
  • Manager to his employee: “This is the 5th day in a row that you’re late to work. What conclusions should I make based on that?”
  • I was told that
  • Why don’t witches like winter?
  • I’m proud to say that I’m an award winning procrastinator.
  • What is the formal scientific term for what the adult film industry calls a “facial?”
  • A rope walked into a bar. . .
  • A popcorn vendor asks the customer whether he would like his popcorn sweet or salty… The customer gazes lovingly at his girlfriend and replies “I want it like her”
  • A fireman was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a red wagon.
  • What do lice say when they feel they’ve overstayed their welcome?
  • Missing his son
  • How I want to die
  • Dirty lil’ Johnny.. (I hope its a new one)
  • The experimental surgery
  • Three men are captured by cannibals.
  • A castaway sees a ship, but watches it sinks, leaving one survivor in the water.

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