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Wife: What’s the difference between a joke and 2 dlcks?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Husband: What? Wife: I can't take a joke Joke Poo: Boss Battle Blues Boss: What’s the difference between a performance review and a double espresso? Employee: What? Boss: I can’t stand a…

A butcher walks into a lawyer’s office….

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

"How can I help you?" The lawyer asks. "If a dog caused damage to my property, can I charge the owner to repair the damage?" "Of course," "Good. You owe me $40,"…

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

An ambulance! Joke Poo: What do you call a toilet overflowing with chocolate? A Hershey squirt! Alright, let’s dissect this shovel-headed humor! Joke Breakdown: Setup: "What do you call a man with…

How could you do that? He was your blood, was with you the whole time, died in your hands, and you still killed him?!

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Don't make such a fuss about killing a mosquito," said my mom. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: The Unexpected Legacy "How could you do that? He entrusted you with everything, taught…

The water supply dried up on my friend’s farm.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He hired a dowser and was digging all over his property trying find more water. So I sent him a get well soon card. Joke Poo: The Code Supply Dried Up My…

There used to be a joke about Oedipus and Midas, but I can’t remember it

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Which is sad, because it really was motherfucking gold. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Joke Decay," riffing on the Oedipus/Midas joke: Joke Decay There used to be a…

A guy is walking down the street with his little kid when a super hot woman walks by.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The guy blurts out: "Daaamn, what an ass!" The kid hears him and asks, "What did you say, Dad?" Trying to cover it up, the dad panics, "Uh… ash, son. I said…

What do boobs and model trains have in common?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're meant for kids but are primarily played with by grown men. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the boobs and model trains joke: Joke Poo: What do sourdough starters and…

Friend: “I’m poly.”

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Me pulling out a cracker: "You won't believe what I've got for you." Joke Poo: Friend: "I just started composting." Me, excitedly pointing to my dog: "Oh my god, you are not…

A wise man once said: never lie to your wife

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because she only asks when she already knows the answer! Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: The Algorithm Knows A seasoned coder once told his protégé: never…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I don’t know why everyone thinks of mobsters as bad guys.
  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married
  • If Waldo turned into a monster which one would he turn into?
  • How do you know if a ghost has been using your bathroom?
  • Why does everyone know the Muffin Man but not the Muffin Woman?
  • A shy Italian girl gets married
  • a stoner, a jedi and emergency room surgeon walk into a bar
  • I bought a Hustler magazine and boy was I disappointed
  • What’s a debt collector’s favourite herb?
  • What’s the most negative month of the year?
  • A Man Is Invited To A Christmas Fancy Dress Party
  • You can’t trust people on Halloween anymore!
  • What did the Catholic priest say to his disciple?
  • The other day an old guy called about an Australian stick.
  • The Queen, the Pope and Nelson Mandela walk into a bar

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