Her grandma gives her a hug. "Nonsense, sweetheart. You have such beautiful cheeks and lovely eyes!" Still unconvinced, the girl runs to her mom. "Mommy, is it true? Do I have a…
I got refused membership of my local snake-owners club because of my pet python…
It's Mambas only. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original: Joke Poo: The Butter Battle I got banned from the artisanal toast convention because of my topping…
Why don’t Redditors panic with a Government Shutdown?
They panic with an AWS Shutdown. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your Redditor joke: Joke Poo: Why Don’t Construction Workers Worry About a Shortage of Hammers? They…
The passenger in the back seat of a taxi decided to change his destination en route, and gently patted the driver on the shoulder to let him know.
The driver screamed, almost lost control of the car, barely avoided collision with another one, and then just about managed to stop inches before slamming into a wall. After a minute of…
Bandito
Mexican Police Officer: "So, do you know the criminal Pablo Sanchez?" Juan (Just Taken Prisoner): "Know him? Yesterday, I am riding my horse,and the horse he stop to make droppings in the…
“Why I’m Divorced” (as related by a co-worker)
Morning of my birthday I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and wish me 'Happy Birthday,' and possibly have a little gift for me. Turned out, he barely…
The Devil sat at the gates of hell…
An old man suddenly arrived in a burst of flames, looking confused and lost. The Devil looked at his paperwork and frowned. He was unable to find this old man’s data file….
Tarzan of the Apes was fighting a Lion in Africa. He won, but at the price of his eye, his arm, and his…
…dick. His jungle friends back home said they would help him out by giving him the spare parts he needed. They gave him the eye of an eagle, the arm of a…
Honest mister! All I Did Was Tell Her!
Upon arriving home, a husband was urgently met at the door by his crying wife. Crashing into his arms she sobbed: "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the…
A society woman receives a parrot as a gift. She quickly teaches the parrot to announce the various guests who arrive at her many parties. As Mr. and Mrs. Smith arrive, the parrot would say, “Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” As Mr. and Mrs. Jones arrived, the parrot would say, “In
Unfortunately, the parrot has a well-developed libido, and starts sneaking out of the house and screwing the neighbor's prize pigeons. The neighbor complains, and the woman warns the parrot that if he…