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This is the speech that JFK gave to Marilyn Monroe on their first night:

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

"We went to my room not because it was easy, we went to my room because it was hard." (I’m a touring comedian, will be in Chicago Sunday if you want to…

Why are aquarium’s so strict?

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

There is always something fishy going on Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: Why are diaper companies always so secretive? Because they’re constantly covering up a whole lot of crap!…

I woke up the other night to the sound of BZZZZ BZZZZ BZZZZ

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

I asked my wife if there was a fly in the room and she said YES! YES! YES! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Title: Diaper…

A man sits down

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man sits down next to an attractive woman at a bus stop and asks her “can I smell your pussy?” She says no and slaps him. He responds “oh it must…

Today I found out that I’m destined to be a lousy parent.

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Social services came and took my inner child. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by your original joke: Joke Poo: Data Dump Today I discovered I’m destined to be…

Baby roach: what happens if they use raid

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Papa roach: suffocation, no breathing Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," playing on the original Roach joke: Joke Poo: Seedling Panic Baby sprout: What happens if they use Roundup? Mama…

The cat and the bird

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

A tree grew in the middle of a garden and on that tree was a branch with a leaf. A worm was looking at the leaf and thinking "if I wait just…

A joke I heard from my friend recently.

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

An English man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man walked into a bar in New York, where the Fantastic 4 where having a drink. The Invisible Woman was…

So an engineer and an antivax want to cross a river full of crododiles

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Fortunately there is a bridge. The antivax asks how safe is the bridge. The engineer answers "around 99.6 percent". The antivax says "ONLY !? NO WAY, I'M SWIMMING !!" Okay, here’s a…

There was this old country fella ridin’ into town on his horse.

Posted on May 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

He makes it to the town square, and right there by the church door stands the pastor. The pastor says, — “Well now, Earl, haven’t seen you in church for a while.”…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I decided to quit my job, and travel the world until I run out of savings.
  • My daughter came home to tell me her principal had left…
  • Why should you never brew coffee for a fortnight?
  • Ive renamed my toilet Jim instead of John
  • The animals were making snacks to take to the cinema…
  • A frog and a chicken go to the library….
  • The Medical Exam
  • A man goes to the doctor because he gets so enormous erection every time he sees a woman, that everyone notices.
  • Thinking of opening a budget Japanese restaurant
  • Mick Jagger: great singer, terrible interior decorator
  • I’m trying to beat The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but my weapons keep breaking.
  • ​A blind man went to a restaurant.
  • A guy walks into a butcher’s and asks, “Do you have sheep testicles?”
  • Blonde goes to the doctor
  • What do you call?
  • I just got home after taking my wife to a Caribbean island.
  • Knock knock. Who’s there?
  • How much does a chimney cost?
  • Help! Post your best/worst “Your Mom” jokes here, please!
  • A woman walks into a clock repair shop
  • A guy buys a brand new Corvette, and takes it for a spin on a highway.
  • What was Marvin Gaye’s book repair service called?
  • My doctor recommended a diet rich in pecans, almonds, pistachios, and similar foods.
  • A non-sequitur walks into an airport…
  • The IRS sends their auditor to audit a synagogue.
  • What do u call an escort that comes via uber eats?
  • Putting too many children together in a small space…
  • Batman and Robin
  • Yo mama so fat
  • Did you hear …
  • Teacher asks her class “What expands ten times it’s size when excited?”
  • How can you tell if you’re talking to a shop steward or a chemist?
  • Oh crap! I just ran a red light!
  • My Grandfather
  • Why are hippies such major consumers of Tums?
  • A man and his wife are at a doctor’s office
  • How do you make a ginger snap?
  • Did you hear someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets?
  • What is it called when the band fires you as a sound tech because you put delay on the drums?
  • Doctor and the Tramp
  • 2 men are sitting at a bar at the top of a skyscraper.
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and complains about constant farting.
  • Helping my grandfather fix his rotary phone yesterday reminded me of a favorite old joke.
  • Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
  • Why was 69 afraid of 70?
  • A man tells his doctor that his wife hasn’t had sex with him in six months. The doctor then has the wife come in, and asks her why she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband any more.
  • Why did the Jedi fight the Sikh?
  • Life lesson
  • The man who stutters tremendously finds a horse in the Brooklyn.
  • Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

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