Friday night came and he heard a knock at the door. The farmer answered with his gun. A young man in suit and tie stood there with flowers. The farmer exclaimed “What…
Boss: “Do you believe in life after death?”
Boss: “Do you believe in life after death?” Employee: “No, why?” Boss: “Because after you left early yesterday for your mother’s funeral, she came in looking for you.” Okay, here’s my “Joke…
A man entered the confessional and told his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.”
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The man said, "Well, we took our clothes off and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped!" The priest said, "Rubbing against each…
“Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” asked the priest. “They only say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’” “That’s terrible!” said the priest. “But I have a solution. Bring them to my…
Morals
I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way; my friends encouraged me, and…
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an American stumble across a magic lamp.
Deciding as the 3 of them found it together, they decided it was only fair they rubbed it together. They rubbed it and a genie appeared, saying: "Seeing as the three of…
An owl that was rescued after landing on a North Sea Oil Platform has been released back into the wild. Workers were surprised by the bird’s arrival…
Especially the one who found they'd been accepted into Hogwarts. Joke Poo: A Lab Rat’s Unexpected Journey A lab rat that escaped during a midnight experiment at a cutting-edge genetics lab has…
A Girl and Her Sniper Rifle
I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She…
Everyone I know says I’m a good person
But that might be survivor bias Okay, here’s the original joke again: Everyone I know says I’m a good person. But that might be survivor bias. And here’s my attempt at a…
My work rota uses the Gregorian calendar
Mon: Greg Tue: Ian Wed: Greg Thu: Ian Fri: Greg Sat: Ian Sun: Greg Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the calendar joke, titled “Toilet Time”: Toilet Time My bathroom schedule…