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How Many Marxists Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

None, the lightbulb contains within itself the seeds of its own revolution. Joke Poo: How Many Cats Does it Take to Change a Litter Box? None. The litter box already contains the…

A sticky situation.

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

A newlywed couple had just finished having sex one evening in their home. Both happy, the woman told her husband she would be right back and went to the bathroom to freshen…

Women are like eggs…

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Best not to keep them in the fridge Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the egg joke: Joke Poo: Politicians are Like Compost Politicians are like compost… Best to spread them…

How does an ancient Mesopotamian write reports?

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He sumerizes Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, riffing on your Mesopotamian joke: Joke Poo: Why did the plumber become a politician? Because he knew how to deal with a lot of……

I came back home from work one day, and was greeted by my wife wearing sexy lingerie. She handed me some lacy ties, and said in a low erotic voice: “Tie me up to bed, and do whatever you want.”

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

So I did… and went golfing. Joke Poo: The Bake-Off I came back home from filming Great British Bake Off one day, and was greeted by Prue Leith wearing a sequined jumpsuit….

A white supremacist musician is tasked with determining the rules to a marathon to take place in a biodome on the moon and thinks it should be separated by skin color

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

But he decides to be open minded and review the files of each person entered to determine their placement. In other words… A racist bassist bases race-based space base races on a…

My friend’s a taxi driver

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

One time when I missed the bus to work, he drove me there. When we arrived, he charged me the regular price. "Oh, I thought you're just doing me a favor?" "No,…

Sometimes I like to masterbate to fictional characters I think should get together…

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I call it shipping and handling. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the original, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: Competitive Gardening Sometimes I like to aggressively fertilize my…

What is the leading cause of dry skin in people?

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Towels Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: What’s the leading cause of smelly diapers in babies? Answer: The Stork. Okay, let’s break down this joke and then…

Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

One turns to the other and says, "I think we got this joke wrong." Joke Poo: Two Plumbers Eating Sewage Two plumbers are up to their necks in a flooded basement, knee-deep…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.

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